Tag: <span>therapist in Essex</span>

Believe!

 

A person holding their hands in the air in triumph on a beach with the sea and a sunset in the background with the word believe at the top.

If you are not expecting it, you are not allowing it to happen

Your belief system brings into your life what you want to happen. If your beliefs are strong enough then what you believe will probably happen. If you believe everything in your life is bad then it is likely that you are going to bring bad events into your life. If you are optimistic and believe that good things are going to happen then that is what you are going to attract into your life. Simple? Yes and no. Sometimes because of negative events that have happened in our past it does sometimes take some retraining of our minds. And also remember that our minds and emotions are connected. So, if we are going to desire good things into our lives then remember each emotion indicates how much energy you are summoning. Your predominant thoughts and beliefs that you currently hold are all relative to your desire.

We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. If you look back through your own life you may notice how often you have gone through the same experience.

If you are feeling a very strong emotion, wether positive or negative, that means that your desire is powerfully focused and you are summoning a great deal of energy towards your desire. So, when your emotions feel bad, like depression, fear or anger, that means that you are offering a lot of resistance to your true desire. When your emotions are strong and feel really good , like enthusiasm, passion, positivity, expectation or love, that means that you are not offering out any resistance to that which you desire so the energy that you have summoned through what you desire is not being challenged vibrationally by yourself and you are then currently allowing the things that you desire to come into your life.

So it seems to be an obvious rule that the perfect situation to create and allow into your life what you desire is to really, really want something that you believe is possible. When that combination of both desire and belief is present within you all those things will quickly unfold into your life.

BUT when you want something that you do not believe is possible, when you have that desire but you do not expect it, it will not easily unfold into your life. Hypnotherapy and EFT can be fantastic tools to eradicate negative thoughts and feelings and make your belief system so much more positive!

Believe and Expect and the universe will answer your call……………..

Twin Peaks is my therapy

Agent Dale Cooper (played by actor Kyle Mcklachlan) at the end of a long corridor of red curtains with a black and white zig zagged floor in the black lodge in twin peaks

Twin peaks is back after 25 years and in typical David Lynch style it continues to shock, confuse and amaze those who follow the series. It may have been over 25 years since the last episode was shown but it has never been far from my mind. In fact, it has taken that amount of time to process and understand much of what went on in the show all those years ago, watching the episodes many times along with the feature film ‘twin peaks: fire walk with me’. This is why I’ve decided to write about how Twin Peaks has been my therapy.

So, why do I consider this surreal show therapy? Television in itself is hypnosis. When we are glued to that box we are taken places within our own minds and imagination. There is, however, no other show that hypnotises quite like twin peaks. One of the reasons I have watched the shows so many times is because I found that it relaxes me and opens my mind creatively. I have had some of my best creative ideas watching twin peaks. From the surreal images to the haunting and relaxing music of Angelo Badalamenti I can be taken right into the depths of my subconscious mind where creativity springs from. It’s quite ironic that a television series about the brutal murder of a high school prom queen can also relax and soothe the mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some very uneasy scenes of violence, horror and also hints of sexual abuse but there are so many different layers to Lynch’s film making. Of course, it isn’t just David Lynch but also Mark Frosts input that has made this such an incredible show. Forget the complexity of it. Although I don’t think there is any other show that causes so much discussion and different ideas and this in itself can be a form of therapy as it enables us to focus and think ‘outside the box’ but alongside this complexity there is also such an innocent simplicity. Many of the characters have a real  innocence about them that we instantly feel a warmth and rapport and a sense of protection to their very being. Lynch/Frost use many of these characters to bring humour to the show and bring a light heartedness, that, without it would probably make the storyline too dark and foreboding. One of these innocent characters is Lucy Brennan who is the Sheriff Departments receptionist who has an on/off relationship with Deputy Andy. She has some classic one liners and, although innocent, is nobody’s fool. Her sidekick Andy is also another innocent and enchanting character and the pair of them together bring a light warmth to some of the shows darkest moments.

Many of the characters are mysterious and enchanting, like the log lady who, as her title suggests, has a log that seems to know and understand much about the events that are taking place. ‘One day soon, my log will have something to say about this’ she teases very near the beginning of season one. Sadly the actress Catherine Coulson, who played the log lady, passed away during the filming of series three but not without filming her last scenes. And after watching these scenes in the first two episodes of series three it seems she very likely filmed these scenes on her death bed where she died from complications of cancer. This, to me, shows the dedication and passion that she had to the show and to David Lynch’s work who she had worked with many times over the years. In fact the idea for the log lady first came together many many years before in 1977 on the set of Lynch’s first ever, albeit low budget,  film ‘Eraserhead’ in which Coulson performed various behind the scenes functions. During the filming of ‘Eraserhead, Lynch told Coulson that he had an image in his head of her holding a large log. Fifteen years later, he created such a role for her in Twin Peaks, on which she starred for 12 episodes through seasons 1 and 2.

Coulson went on to reprise her role in the film prequel, Twin Peaks: Fire walk with me, and in the 2017 revival. In the new series, her character (the Log Lady) appears in the first two episodes, where she passes on a message from her log for Deputy Hawk to resume the search for Agent Cooper.

There is a strong mystic element to the log lady where she almost seems to have a psychic connection to her log. Very much in the way a witch would have a familiar such as a toad or cat or a psychic would have a crystal ball as a tool or ‘prop’ to channel psychic abilities. In fact there are many spiritual aspects to twin peaks. The red room which resides inside the black lodge where agent Cooper meets Laura Palmer is almost like a plane between the earth plane and the other side. In fact, this where he gets messages from various ‘spirits’. Although it doesn’t seem you have to be necesarily dead to be in the red room. Obviously Cooper isn’t but seems to visit when in a ‘dream like state’ or sleeping (Hey, that’s hypnosis!) In a recent episode in a dramatically horrifying scene a young boy gets hit by a truck and killed and when an older character tries to comfort the grieving mother he sees the child’s spirit going up into the sky.

Lynch has also reported that during the filming of Erasurehead that is where Coulson started practicing meditation having observed Lynch himself practice the technique.

And that leads me towards why I find Twin Peaks such a therapy in itself. Meditation. Meditation is a form of self-hypnosis. Although we all naturally go into hypnosis from times to time. Maybe through day dreaming or focus (ie.watching television) or driving from A to B and suddenly arriving without any idea of how we got there, the art of meditation can bring us into  much deeper depths of our subconscious mind. It is not only relaxing because it slows our body down from the strains of our everyday modern life but it is also therapeutic in the way that it lets our conscious minds switch off. It occurred to me last week when I was watching the latest episode of Twin Peaks: the return how quickly the episodes seem to fly by. A fifty minute episode (I watch without the ad breaks) literally feels like under ten minutes. As a hypnotherapist in Essex I know that when a client has been hypnotised, or indeed from my own experience of hypnosis, there seems to be hardly any concept of time. Lynch and Frost definitely seem to be giving us such an intense focus along with relaxing themes and some symbolism that are putting us into a meditative dream like state.  Although I have experienced a similar phenomenon in the past with other programs it has never been to this degree. So, from the angst of my late teens where the escapism was such an intense form of escape from my problems of the time to the hypnotic and meditative relaxation of today Twin Peaks has definitely been like my own form of therapy along with the group therapy of sharing ideas and concepts about the show online with fellow peakies! Lynch and Frost you have been the most wonderful therapist. Therapy never ends and let’s hope the show goes on further too and if it doesn’t?  Well I’ll just have to keep watching the episodes that have been made because with every new viewing you find something that you haven’t seen before.

For more information on hypnosis or hypnotherapy in please visit www.positivelycalm.com

 

Keeping on that positive vibe……..

Keeping on that positive vibe

Everyone has bad days from time to time. Although we all tend to want to be positive there are often over riding factors. We are all human after all and there is no such thing as a perfect life. For whatever reason challenges are often sent our way but it is how we choose to react to those challenges that determines our mindset. I’m often asked what we can do to keep our energy positive so here are a few ideas.

Express gratitude – When negative events or people have an effect on your life it is always important to remember all the good things that you do have to balance this out. Try at least once a week to reflect on what you are grateful for and why. You may want to write down all the positive things about your career, your love or family and friends that support you. Remember a really good or positive event from your life and concentrate on how that makes you feel.

Meditation – Sometimes we need to let go of over whelming thoughts and clear our minds of clutter. Deep breathing exercise and relaxing music can help with this. Also repeating positive affirmations can be a great help as this can help train your mind to believe the affirmation and guide you towards your positive goal. Click here to see my blog on meditation.

Challenge your negative thoughts – Whenever negative thoughts come into our minds we can choose how we respond to them. It’s easy for our minds to tend to dwell on negative events which can end up magnifying things far bigger than they really are. Try interpreting these things differently. For example your car won’t start in the morning. Instead of thinking ‘I’m rubbish, everything goes wrong for me’ try thinking ‘It’s good that this has happened now and I haven’t been left stranded on a motorway.’ Anyone that has had cognitive behavioural therapy will know that this involves keeping a thought and feelings diary. This helps to bring negativity into a real perspective and we are able to reframe these thoughts and feeling much more positively. This is all about re-training the mind and although it might not happen overnight this is something that with practice will start coming to you more naturally.

Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT is a really good tool for confronting our negative feelings until we can bring the feeling down and then re-framing positively. This is done by tapping on acupuncture points alongside affirmation like suggestion. For more about emotional freedom technique please click here.

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

mr-worry

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Hello everyone and I hope that you have all had a positive week. This week I am talking about general anxiety disorder. Although this is a common symptom in a therapists consulting room I seem to have had a lot more enquiries/appointments  booked regarding this subject recently. Much more than normal.
Although everyone has times in their lives when they can get anxious or even nervous it becomes  a problem when these symptoms get so frequent and so strong that it takes over their lives. So how can you tell if it has become too much? Well if you are suffering from any of these symptoms on a regular basis you might want to get some help.

If you are worrying excessively about everyday things however big or small they might be. If you lay in bed at night and can’t go to sleep because you are overthinking these things or situations. Do you worry about things that haven’t happened and may never happen? Are these thoughts becoming more and more persistent?

Do you have irrational fears attached to a specific situation, event or thing? This could be social situations, flying, traveling, certain animals or insects or do you have a fear of heights. If your reactions are way out of proportion to the actual harm that could realistically happen to you then you are suffering from a phobia which is also a part symptom of general anxiety disorder.

Are you suffering from any physical symptoms? Muscle tension or tension headaches or even migraine on a regular basis? Sometimes people get so used to being tense that after a while they don’t realise they are suffering from symptoms until they are relaxed with hypnotherapy or other forms of relaxation. Other physical symptoms of anxiety are chronic digestive problems such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). The symptoms of IBS would be stomachaches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Another symptom of GAD could be Stage fright. Most people get at least a few butterflies before addressing a group of people or otherwise being in the spotlight. But if the fear is so strong or if you spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it, you may have a form of social anxiety disorder. Are you very self concious in front of only a small group of people. That is exactly how I was myself before I had my own therapy that led me myself to want to help others and become a hypnotherapist in Essex.

Have you ever suffered from a panic attack? A sudden  Rush of helplessness to your body with symptoms including breathing problems, a pounding or racing heart, tingling or numb hands, sweating, weakness or dizziness, chest pain, stomach pain, and feeling hot or cold. A real sick feeling in your stomach almost frozen on the spot. Not knowing whether to hit out (fight) or run (flight). This is called the fight or flight response.

Do you have flashbacks to a disturbing or traumatic event that has happened in the past? Do you constantly think or obsess about it. This is a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is also linked to GAD.

And finally are you obsessive? Are you constantly looking for everything you do to be perfect. Do you beat yourself up a lot in your mind with a feeling of nothing that you do is ever good enough.
Do you rely on alcohol or other drugs to mask your feelings?

If you have any of the above symptoms then you are probably suffering from a form of GAD. So, what can you do about it? I used to suffer from some of these symptoms and as I have mentioned in earlier blogs I went through Hypno-analysis and this cured me. In fact that is what lead me to become a therapist and want to help others. Analysis consisted of being regressed to events in my early life that caused my symptoms and by doing this emotional repressions were released allowing me to move forward. Another good tool for helping with GAD is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I wish I had known about this powerful therapeutic tool when I was younger. It’s a great way to clear fears, anxieties and blockages in life.  Otherwise known as tapping, in a nutshell, it is tapping on your acupuncture points along with some talking therapy.  For more information see this video on EFT and you can also see this video of me showing you the EFT tapping points.

No one wants to be going through life with these symptoms and being shown the way to move forward and alleviate these symptoms has such an impact on peoples lives that they can emerge in a much bright and positive world.

If you suffer in any way with any of these symptoms do not hesitate to contact me for a free initial consultation at my Hypnotherapy practice in Hullbridge Essex.

 

 

Success and what it means to you

Success loading pic

A question that I often get asked is how do you measure success? This isn’t an easy question to answer because success very much depends on the individual and what their own definition of success is. Some people measure success on financial gain and how successful they are in their career. Others measure success on how successful they are in love and relationships and on lifes achievements. As a therapist it is not always easy to measure success within your own practice because if you’ve made good progress with a client and they are ready to finish therapy you let them go off into the world and hopefully you don’t hear from them again because they are better and no longer need your help. I suppose I would consider myself successful in the way that I never usually have to work with a client again unless they come back for a completely different reason. For example I had a text from a client this week who had seen me for quit smoking hypnotherapy in Essex 6 months ago. After two months of not smoking he was so pleased that he had quit the habit so easily that he decided that he would go to the next step and stop drinking. This client was not an alcoholic by any means but he did realise that his drinking had also become a bit of a bad habit because of his lifestyle. So he returned to me for another two hour session but this time focusing on his drinking habit. During this session we used both emotional freedom technique and hypnotherapy. We chose a one off extra long session simply because he lives a long way away (he had chosen to travel to me for my quit-smoking session after a recommendation) so it was the best option in this case. I didn’t feel that there were any underlying issues to be dealt with so it was a much simpler process. So when I received the text this week saying that he was 6 months off the cigarettes and 2 months off alcohol I knew that it had been successful. The other way I can measure success is if I see a client as a recommendation from someone else who has seen me for therapy with successful results. I also offer a free top up if a quit-smoker is smoking within three months of seeing me. It is very rare that anyone returns for that. That’s says to me SUCCESS!

Success for me was learning to walk again after a serious hit and run accident. I will never take walking  far granted again! Yet to someone else walking is just a natural everyday activity. A client that is suffering from a social phobia or a general anxiety disorder would feel successful by being able to walk into a room full of people without those nerves with their head held high and a big smile on their face for the first time ever.

A big mistake many people make is to compare themselves to others.  They may see a colleague in a better job earning better money with a lovely car. That same colleague could be looking at you in a solid happy relationship thinking they would give up everything that they have to be in that position. So it’s all relative to the person.  If you are working in a sales environment then success would be meeting and exceeding your targets. Many people thrive on the adrenalin rush that this brings.

My aim at positivelycalm is to help you achieve the success that is important for you. Part of this would be removing barriers that may be stopping you achieving all that you want to achieve. Emotion Freedom Technique is very good for this because sometimes our anxieties play havoc with us achieving our goals. So if we can remove our blocks then there is no stopping us getting to where we want to be and even further! Our believe system is so important in this process. A common problem all therapists find with clients is that they don’t feel good enough. If you believe that you are not good enough for something then you probably won’t be. If you believe that you are good enough then you will be. It’s all there for you in the power of your own mind. All of us are good enough. We just need to believe. Sometimes we just need some help in untapping our potential. There is nothing wrong with seeking help along the way. Whatever your goal, wether it is hypnotherapy for weight loss or hypnotherapy for quit smoking, just making that decision to go ahead is your first step to SUCCESS! So if you would like some help to achieve your dreams come and see me at positivelycalm for some therapy in Essex.

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