Month: <span>December 2016</span>

Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

Coping with grief

Dove flying with wings oustretched in a blue sky with a few clouds

Hello again everyone and welcome to my last blog of 2016.  I hope that you have all had a fantastic and stress free Christmas and that you are looking forward to a positive new year ahead. I have decided to talk about the subject of grief in my final blog simply because of the amount of celebrity deaths that there has been this year. I’ve witnessed an outpouring of grief on social networks and it did make me question why we get so caught up in the death of somebody that we don’t personally know. Christmas Day was the last example when pop star George Michael passed. Quite an apt time of year seeing as last Christmas was a huge hit for him in the 80s and has been played constantly every year since. Christmas is also an emotional time when feelings can be running quite high. I think many people were shocked to hear late Christmas day that he had passed including  myself. It’s not always the loss of the actual celebrity that we are grieving but it is a nostalgic loss of days gone by. We relive many happy memories and sometimes unhappy memories of growing up and the nostalgia can play on our feelings. Also if we are carrying around any unresolved grief from our loss of our own close ones then this can sometimes be brought to the surface which isn’t a bad thing. Harbouring unresolved grief can cause many negative symptoms. Many clients that come to me for all manner of reasons sometimes their problems stem back to loss and worse than that not being able to grieve properly and that emotion becoming stuck in the subconscious. Not being able to grieve properly can be because of all manner of reasons such as being too busy to grieve, having to keep strong for other family members or friends or even, especially in men, seeing letting any emotion out as a weakness. The problem is that emotion is there and if you don’t release it then it will just remain trapped in the subconscious causing all manner of problems.

I wouldn’t work with anyone using hypnotherapy for grief within the first two years of losing a loved  one. It is important that those left behind go through the various stages. There are five stages of grieving and they can take two years to process and trying to get rid of those emotions in that time could be damaging as those feelings need to be processed. The 5 stages of grief and loss are: 1. Denial and isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance. People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of them. If a client gets ‘stuck’ at any of these stages and two years has passed then that is where I would use hypnotherapy for unresolved grief which can have powerfully effective positive outcomes. For any help with grieving in the first two years I can highly recommend cruse who are a there for your support at these sad times. http://www.cruse.org.uk/.

So, grieving is natural, necessary and healthy. It’s not grieving that would have a detrimental effect on you. Don’t let anyone berate you for grieving and expressing your emotions even if it is for a celebrity that you don’t know. This person was still part of your life and you may be grieving those times or it could be just bringing out negative emotions that need to be brought out. That can never be a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with releasing negative emotion.

The grief stages are universal and experienced by different cultures from all walks of life. Grief isn’t only experienced for people that we have lost to death but also for the end of relationships and for the death of animals. Pets are a huge part of many families and the death of our beloved pets can be just as traumatising.

On a happier note I would like to wish you a happy and positive new year. For more information about hypnotherapy and EFT in Essex please check out the rest of the website www.positivelycalm.com. I will also be posting a series of EFT (tapping) videos for weight loss over the coming weeks with the first one hopefully to be posted in the next few days. Here’s to a Positively Calm 2017!

Therapy • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

Therapy is a journey – Don’t give up!

A sunset over clouds with the words dont give up

One of the most frustrating things for all therapists has to be when clients give up on therapy so easily. Many clients want a quick fix and for you to be able to wave a magic wand and make them better – Just like that! Although stage hypnosis does give the impression that this is possible it really isn’t quite like that. What hypnotherapy can do though is help you get better more quickly than with just talking therapies. The reason for this is that we are working with the subconscious. When you are working with just talking therapies it can take a lot longer to get down to a subconscious process. By using hypnosis we can bypass the conscious and get straight to the root cause or emotional repression that is causing a particular symptom. This still isn’t necessarily going to happen overnight though. Some things are quick to fix. Quit smoking can usually be dealt with in one two hour session. But for many emotional and anxiety problems we are looking at several sessions. And therapy can be TOUGH! Much of the time we are dealing with negative emotions that have been suppressed in the subconscious for so long that we have to relive those emotions to release them. I am quite happy when there is a client crying in the chair not because I am a wicked person that likes to see pain but because I know that emotion is being released and that very release is going to help my client get better.

However, it is not always the case that you have to get worse before you get better. In some clients cases they start feeling better after just one session and for others its two or three sessions. No client is a text book case. Most commonly clients are up and down as they are going through therapy and when they are up that is normally a good indication of how they are going to feel once their therapy is complete. However tough your therapy feels while you are going through it don’t give up. It is so much worth it in the end. I am so glad I went through with mine as it has turned my life around and to think I could still be the same way I always was if I hadn’t have completed my therapy. I have to admit that there were times when I thought Why am I doing this? But I knew deep down that facing those demons was the best thing that I could do. And I know it is a brave thing to do. So to anyone going through therapy I do commend your bravery. Never give up.

Another reason people sometimes use to give up on therapy is the cost. It often suprises me the things that some people will prioritise in front of their own mental and emotional health.  If someone chooses not to have therapy but will spend that money on alcohol or even drugs, new clothes, a handbag or accessories It is usually a case of sticking to an old routine of trying to make themselves better by using these devices to ‘patch’  things up. That isn’t going to make the problem go away. It may make a person feel a little better for a short while and give them a boost but that will soon pass.

Another reason someone may give up on therapy is because of outside influences. Maybe there is someone that doesn’t want to see them getting better so is putting them off. This does happen on the odd occasion. Normally there is a hidden agenda there.

Even though therapy can sometimes be tough it is very positive and beneficial and is actually an exciting journey into self discovery. So if you start the journey don’t give up!!    We are all learning about ourselves all the time and that includes me! And if you want to start your journey contact me here at positivelycalm to start your hypnotherapy in Essex.

Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

mr-worry

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Hello everyone and I hope that you have all had a positive week. This week I am talking about general anxiety disorder. Although this is a common symptom in a therapists consulting room I seem to have had a lot more enquiries/appointments  booked regarding this subject recently. Much more than normal.
Although everyone has times in their lives when they can get anxious or even nervous it becomes  a problem when these symptoms get so frequent and so strong that it takes over their lives. So how can you tell if it has become too much? Well if you are suffering from any of these symptoms on a regular basis you might want to get some help.

If you are worrying excessively about everyday things however big or small they might be. If you lay in bed at night and can’t go to sleep because you are overthinking these things or situations. Do you worry about things that haven’t happened and may never happen? Are these thoughts becoming more and more persistent?

Do you have irrational fears attached to a specific situation, event or thing? This could be social situations, flying, traveling, certain animals or insects or do you have a fear of heights. If your reactions are way out of proportion to the actual harm that could realistically happen to you then you are suffering from a phobia which is also a part symptom of general anxiety disorder.

Are you suffering from any physical symptoms? Muscle tension or tension headaches or even migraine on a regular basis? Sometimes people get so used to being tense that after a while they don’t realise they are suffering from symptoms until they are relaxed with hypnotherapy or other forms of relaxation. Other physical symptoms of anxiety are chronic digestive problems such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). The symptoms of IBS would be stomachaches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Another symptom of GAD could be Stage fright. Most people get at least a few butterflies before addressing a group of people or otherwise being in the spotlight. But if the fear is so strong or if you spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it, you may have a form of social anxiety disorder. Are you very self concious in front of only a small group of people. That is exactly how I was myself before I had my own therapy that led me myself to want to help others and become a hypnotherapist in Essex.

Have you ever suffered from a panic attack? A sudden  Rush of helplessness to your body with symptoms including breathing problems, a pounding or racing heart, tingling or numb hands, sweating, weakness or dizziness, chest pain, stomach pain, and feeling hot or cold. A real sick feeling in your stomach almost frozen on the spot. Not knowing whether to hit out (fight) or run (flight). This is called the fight or flight response.

Do you have flashbacks to a disturbing or traumatic event that has happened in the past? Do you constantly think or obsess about it. This is a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is also linked to GAD.

And finally are you obsessive? Are you constantly looking for everything you do to be perfect. Do you beat yourself up a lot in your mind with a feeling of nothing that you do is ever good enough.
Do you rely on alcohol or other drugs to mask your feelings?

If you have any of the above symptoms then you are probably suffering from a form of GAD. So, what can you do about it? I used to suffer from some of these symptoms and as I have mentioned in earlier blogs I went through Hypno-analysis and this cured me. In fact that is what lead me to become a therapist and want to help others. Analysis consisted of being regressed to events in my early life that caused my symptoms and by doing this emotional repressions were released allowing me to move forward. Another good tool for helping with GAD is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I wish I had known about this powerful therapeutic tool when I was younger. It’s a great way to clear fears, anxieties and blockages in life.  Otherwise known as tapping, in a nutshell, it is tapping on your acupuncture points along with some talking therapy.  For more information see this video on EFT and you can also see this video of me showing you the EFT tapping points.

No one wants to be going through life with these symptoms and being shown the way to move forward and alleviate these symptoms has such an impact on peoples lives that they can emerge in a much bright and positive world.

If you suffer in any way with any of these symptoms do not hesitate to contact me for a free initial consultation at my Hypnotherapy practice in Hullbridge Essex.

 

 

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