Category: <span>Self-improvement</span>

How to use your trauma to heal yourself

A picture of  man holding up his arms in victory, standing in a cornfield with the sun beating down on him with the words "Your recovery can actually begin at that darkest moment" Brad Mace then the website www.positivelycalm.com

For eighteen years now I have been working with clients, mostly on a one to one basis, and the majority of this work has been trauma work using  hypno-analysis. Many of the clients that enter my consulting room have a pre conceived idea about hypnotherapy or hypnosis.  I tend to call this the ‘magic wand’ syndrome. That’s to say that they think that I can hypnotise them and take away their worries or fears and everything will just go away in one session like ‘waving a magic wand.’ It would be truly wonderful if therapy was that simple. It tends to be stage hypnosis that gives people this misconception. The clue is in the title ‘stage’ I am afraid. Hypnotherapy is a completely different ball game. I use clinical hypnosis alongside Psychotherapy. So let me explain further, when we suffer trauma the emotions related to that trauma can get repressed and this repression happens within the subconscious part of our mind.

Hypno-analysis is a form of therapy that can allow us to access moments that have caused trauma and this helps release the trauma from our subconscious. There are also other therapeutic tools which I use, apart from hypno-analysis, which can help to do this. I believe in having different tools to support what works for each personality type, and am aware that what may not work for one just might work for anothe.  What I have found is that what all the most successful tools have in common is that they involve revisiting and working with the event that has caused the trauma in the first place!
So, when that client walks into my consulting room expecting me to wave that magic wand the last thing that they usually want to hear is that I am possibly going to take them back to face up to the trauma that caused their symptom. I say ‘possibly’ because this isn’t always the case. Suggestion therapy will work on some things, for example
quit smoking. I do know though, for most problems related to a neurosis, the cream of therapies is weeding out that root cause through analysis.
The fact that a client doesn’t want to face up to that trauma is the exact reason that they should even though this is quite understandable. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’? We don’t want to ‘go there’, of course we don’t , because it means reliving the moment. Most of our problems end up going back to something in childhood and that was a time when we couldn’t understand or rationalise how we were feeling hence repression. Revisiting that event and accessing the feeling is a way of reprocessing it and letting it go. Sometimes there needs to be some re-framing of that memory. Other therapeutic interventions such as EFT and EFTMR can also help with this and they are similar to hypnotherapy in that we are putting the clients mind into the theta state. This relaxed state makes us able to access the subconscious and it is also much easier for the client to talk about traumatic experiences and for me to work with them.

It’s not just a case of jumping into a memory and working with it straightaway. It would very often take much more than one session to be able to access traumatic memories, of which there would usually be more than one, and the right therapist would guide you very gently through the experience. Yes, emotion will be released but that release is a huge weight off the shoulders leading you towards freedom from your symptoms. I, myself was healed of my tourettes symptoms by revisiting an early traumatic moment that caused them. You can see my article about how this was achieved here.


These are great interventions to help with the relief of anxiety, depression, PTSD, phobias and so much more. So if you ever find yourself in front of a therapist who you were hoping was going to wave a magic wand but instead wants to help you confront and release those trauma then my advice would be FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY! Remember, always go with a professional accredited registered therapist to help you achieve that freedom from fear and anxiety and know you are working hand in hand with the clinical professional. To book a free 30 minute consultation contact me here.

The Power Of Matrix Reimprinting

A picture of some DNA with a outer space background and the words Matrix Reimprinting

 

Anyone who knows me socially knows that for the past 27 years I have been suffering from Tourette’s syndrome. Or, as the doctors preferred to say, Tourette’s like symptoms. This is because it is only recognised that Tourette’s sufferers usually start getting their symptoms in their formative years. It is not recognised that, as in my case, you can start getting Tourette’s symptoms at the age of 19. Before this time I had no history of tics. When I was 19 I was involved in a serious hit and run accident. Being hit at between 60 and 70 mph and being left for dead in the road I was completely unconscious and my femur had been shattered and I had a severe head injury. Although I recovered well and learnt to walk again I was left with some vocal and physical tics. I used to make some strange guttural sounds, my left arm used to fling out of its own accord and I was also known to bark! My accident and recovery had a lot to do with what lead me towards a healing profession and using the power of the mind to heal ourselves.

Although my Tourette’s symptoms were quite mild compared to many Tourette’s sufferers it has been very hard at times living with tics that were out of my control. Although I developed many coping mechanisms over the years it did still at times, knock my confidence. After brain scans and neurologists looking into my problem the only treatment they could come up with were prescribed drugs to soften the symptoms due to their diagnosis of a ‘chemical imbalance’ in the brain. I took these for about two weeks,(very many years ago) and never took them again as they seemed to also soften all my senses. Psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi once described a tic as “An over-strong memory fixation on the attitude of the body at the moment of……trauma”. Tics are believed to be old memories from a trauma that was not resolved. The roots of traumatisation can be described as a threat to survival in the face of helplessness which leads to the fight/flight/freeze response. I’ve always believed there was a ‘part’ of me still stuck in that fight/flight/freeze response.

I have been a fully qualified hypnotherapist and psychotherapist for the past 16 years and a member of the association for professional hypnosis and psychotherapy which is my governing body for which I have to follow a code of ethics, one of these being updating my skills and knowledge every year. Over the years I have learnt some great techniques to teach my clients, as well as to use on my own Tourette’s symptoms. Luckily I was able to overcome any tics whilst working with clients. I believe this was mainly due to being so focussed on said client.  Several years ago I qualified in EFT (emotional freedom technique otherwise known as tapping) and it was very good for helping to relieve some of my Tourette’s symptoms. I could use EFT to somewhat lessen my public display of Tourette’s, however the urges to tic were still there and most of the time still not controllable, requiring a lot of effort and concentration. Having gone as high as level 3 with EFT I had been toying with the idea for a few years of attending a course on EFT Matrix reimprinting. I had read a lot about this evolutionary technique developed by Karl Dawson who is one of only 29 EFT masters worldwide and author of Matrix Reimprinting using EFT and Transform your beliefs, transform your life. My symptoms earlier this year had seemed to be getting worse and I was finding it was taking much more energy to focus. Anyone who has suffered from tics will tell you that it is very tiring concentrating all the time on trying not to do something! So in June this year I took the plunge and got myself booked on a matrix reimprinting course in Brighton which Karl Dawson himself was teaching. Little was I to know that the days spent on this course was about to change my life.

Matrix Reimprinting is a powerful technique that uses EFT to resolve traumas from our past focussing on core beliefs, so that practitioners can guide clients to a lasting change in their lives. This magnificent technique can help with everything from anxiety, grief, phobias and pain management to parenting, self-image and weight loss. In fact you can use Matrix Reimprinting to help clients change what they believe about themselves and the world around them. If we can change our thoughts we can change anything.

Matrix reimprinting is based around the theory that everything is energy. To work with Matrix Reimprinting there are four concepts that you need to understand:

1.Everything is energy.

2.Energy is organised into fields of information (morphic fields).

3.Our subconscious mind is located in our personal field.

4.We can tune into those fields of information.

When we experience trauma then that trauma gets stored in the subconscious as an ECHO. Echos are Energetic Conscious Holograms. Using matrix reimprinting we can follow a clients energy or ‘feelings’ to guide them towards echos that are sitting in the energy field disrupting our natural flow of energy therefore causing symptoms. By finding these echos we can then guide the client to tap away the trauma using EFT and reframe the memory positively.

I hadn’t previously remembered anything about my accident. When we suffer from extreme trauma our subconscious often blocks things out as it believes that is the best way to protect us. I had always believed that if I was able to remember my accident it would be a good way of accessing and working with the trauma and I would be able to relieve some of my symptoms. I had tried this many times through using hypnosis but to no avail. So I knew this echo was sitting there, somewhere, constantly reliving that trauma and causing my symptoms. Luckily for me, much of the course was practical work where learners were able to work on each other. I had previously discussed with Karl Dawson about my accident and Tourettes symptoms and he had assured me he would do his upmost to try and work with me. The day before I was to be worked on, we had been learning about how and when we experience trauma, and that trauma can get stuck in our energy field and I had always believed I had the symptoms of trapped trauma. For example it was only ever my left arm that flung out. Was this because I was hit on my left hand side and that arm would have flown up into the air or even I may have thrown my arm up as a form of protection? The strange whimpering sounds I made…. Could that have been me lying on the road in pain? Ok I couldn’t explain the barking which had come along later but all I can think of is that a bark can be a dogs cry for help. Please don’t throw me a stick!

So we had spoken on the course about big trauma and little trauma and how it can get stuck in the body and how trauma can sometimes distort our belief systems and now Karl, along with my training partner Neil, was going to see if we could access my accident trauma to release the trauma from my body and reimprint positively.

Photograph of Hypnotherapist Brad Mace with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix reimprinting

Brad Mace (me)  with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix Reimprinting

Karl started off the proceedings by tapping on some of my EFT points and working with my energy using Matrix reimprinting techniques we had learnt. He didn’t take me directly to my accident straightaway, but cautiously guided me there indirectly. Exploring my feelings from my tourettes I was taken back to some previous trauma from my childhood that was also connected in the matrix as it was also an event that gave me the belief that the world was an unsafe place.  Then we followed the energy from there after Karl handed over the reigns to Neil and I was able to be taken not only to my accident but to the point of impact, and Neil worked with me to discharge the trauma from my body. Not only was the trauma discharged but Neil used matrix reimprinting techniques to reimprint this memory in a much more positive memory and change my belief around this memory that the world was not a safe place. I believe that this trauma in my body had been sitting there constantly in my energy field, reliving the event over and over again This session had been extremely powerful for me. I was dazed and drained for quite a while afterwards, but I also felt strangely at peace and liberated. This session took place on the last day of the course and I was to drive home afterwards. So after I had said my goodbyes and heartfelt thanks I started my drive home. I was feeling some sensation in my left arm like it was wanting to fling out but I was able to over ride it. I had no urges to make a noise but I did notice that my teeth were extremely clenched and I had a pain down the side of my face. I do believe that was trauma energy working itself out of my body.

It is now 10 weeks later and I can honestly report that I have hardly any symptoms at all and as time is going on they are getting less and less. From what I have learnt from this course I now realise that this is because the morphic field is getting weaker now that the trauma is released and I am no longer ticking. The less I practice this old habit the weaker that field will get and the habit will eventually completely disappear. My arm would fling out several times a day. It did it once last week and that came as quite a surprise as it hadn’t done it for ages. It also hasn’t done it since. There are no vocal tics. This is also without any further work. I should really be working on myself and I haven’t. If I was one of my clients I would be giving me a ticcing off! (pardon the pun). But to be honest I really haven’t felt a need to. Matrix reimprinting for me has been life changing. After 27 years living with a trapped trauma that was coming out in tics that were beyond my control I only wish that I had invested in this wonderful revolutionary technique earlier. I am now a fully qualified matrix reimprinting practitioner and already using this fantastic way of working with many of my clients and looking forward to using it much more in the future.

I do believe that my Tourette’s has been almost eradicated and is improving by the day, so who is to say that Matrix reimprinting couldn’t help others with Tourette’s? In fact I am now a firm believer that Matrix reimprinting could help with practically any negative symptoms.

When we change our energy field it also has an effect on everyone who comes into contact with us. We all know the difference of being around an energy field of someone who makes us feel positive and someone who makes us feel negative therefore draining us of our energy. We all owe it to ourselves to clear negative energy and trauma so that we can be able to live consciously without fear.

 

 

 

 

Free yourself from Fear!

A picture of a tree with a pale blue background with the words "The fears we don't face become our limits"

It could be argued that people’s greatest enemy is fear. Fear is often the very thing behind failure, sickness, stress and poor human relations. Millions of people are afraid of so many things including fears of the past, the future, old age, dementia, death and illness. Many fears can become a phobia such as fear of flying, spiders and water to name but a few. But fear is just a thought in your own mind which means that all you are actually afraid of are your own thoughts! It’s never too late to free yourself from fear.

If you imagine a small child can be fearful of a monster living under the bed because a playmate has told them that the monster would grab them in the night. But when a parent turns on the light and shows them that there is no monster under the bed then he is freed from that fear. The fear in the  mind of that child was every bit as real as if there was really a monster there. When he was made to realise that the thing that he feared did not exist then he was healed of a false thought in his mind. In the same way, most of your fears have no reality.

The great nineteenth-century philosopher and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Do the thing you are afraid to do, and the death of fear is certain.”

I remember when I was 19 being asked to be best man at a wedding. In fact it was a very big wedding. I was filled with unutterable fear at the thought of standing before an audience and speaking. I believe that if I had given way to this fear, as terrible as it was, I am sure you would not now be reading this blog. I would never have been able to share with others what I have learned about the workings of the subconscious mind. The way I overcame this fear was to follow Emersons advice. Quaking inside I went before the audience and spoke. It was tough at first but as the speech went on I gained a little confidence and by the end I was almost enjoying it. Admittedly it was quite a while until I spoke in front of an audience again but I used this experience as a benchmark and in my line of work now I have to engage in public speaking all the time and I actually enjoy it. I did the thing I was afraid to do and the death of fear was certain.

When you affirm positively that you are going to master your fears, and you come to a definite decision in your conscious mind, you release the power of the subconscious, which in return flows in response to the nature of your thought.

Try this technique for overcoming fear. Suppose you were afraid of swimming. You can retrain your mind with this simple technique. Try and sit still for at least two to three times a day for five or ten minutes. Now imagine that you are swimming. Mentally project yourself into the water. You feel the coolness of the water and the movement of your arms and legs. It is all a very real and vivid and joyful activity in your mind. What you are experiencing in your imagination will then be developed in your subconscious mind. When you next swim it is the joyful action that will surface as this is the law of the subconscious.

The same technique can be applied to other fears. A hypnotherapist can induce an even deeper state to instill positive suggestion and sometimes may work with regression to find a root cause for the particular fear and release the negative emotion that has been buried within the subconscious mind. Emotional Freedom Technique is also another good way of clearing those negative feelings.

Remember to give your focus to what you want to happen not what you are afraid might happen instead. For example If you are fearing failure then focus on success!

For further help and support in overcoming your fears please do not hesitate in contacting me.

 

 

A Christmas Stress Buster!

A picture of a woman with her mouth wide open like a scream wearing a santa hat surrounded by wrapped presents with the word help on the left

 

Even though tis the season to be jolly, for some people this puts on an added pressure to show an outward happiness that, for whatever reason, one does not feel inside. This can compound negative feelings and make a person feel even more isolated, especially if there has been increased stress, tragedy or bereavement in a persons life. Sometimes the stress can be simply having to welcome unwanted guests or unwanted demands on top of our normal everyday life such as extra shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining to name just a few but this all adds to Christmas stress.

Using just a few practical tips these could help you enjoy the Christmas season more than you thought and minimize any stress. So here goes……

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings. If your loved ones are absent or if a loved one has recently died it’s OK to cry and let your feelings out. Don’t try and force yourself to be happy just because it is Christmas. This will just put unwanted pressure on yourself and make yourself feel worse.

 

  1. Contact that friend! If you are feeling lonely or isolated then try and reach out and speak to someone. If there isn’t anyone you know that you can speak to then try not to isolate yourself and seek out some community events. Volunteering is a good way to keep yourself occupied taking your mind of stressful thoughts and this is also a good way of meeting new people. This can generate some feel good positive thinking because you are giving something back to society. Just remember extra volunteers are always extra volunteers needed at Christmas time, especially in soup kitchens and homeless shelters.

 

 

  1. Forget Perfection! Be realistic with yourself. Christmas does not have to be the perfect day and does not have to be the same as last year and previous happy Christmases. Things do change, people move away, children may branch out with their own friends and their new families and therefore traditions can alter and change. People who previously made up your festival group festivities including children, friends and family circumstances may have changed so they may not be able to be with you over the Christmas period. You can find other ways of celebrating together. A phone call, skype or sharing videos and photos. No-one needs to be isolated with the way communication is these days.

 

  1. Forget your differences. Set aside any grievances or grudges until a more appropriate time for discussion to avoid any negativity on the day. Try to be understanding if others get disappointed or upset if things don’t quite go the way that they were planned. Remember as the year is drawing to an end instinctively we reflect on the past twelve months and there is a risk, especially with the festive alcohol that negative memories may come to the forefront of our minds.

 

 

  1. Don’t overspend. When you go shopping set a budget and stick to it. Don’t spend over your means as this just creates unwanted stress that could last throughout the year.

 

  1. Set a plan and stick to it! Try and schedule your days leading up to Christmas so that you know when you are shopping, baking , cleaning etc….. Plan your menus so that you know exactly how much food that you are buying and stick to the shopping list. Do not be tempted to over buy, you will only be throwing it away.

 

 

  1. Exercise. Try and get some exercise and fresh air. Even if it means just going for a walk to clear your head. If you already do regular exercise then don’t abandon your normal routine completely. Try and fit in as much exercise as you can to keep you tip top and this will also help you get a good quality nights sleep to help you recharge your batteries for the next day.

 

  1. Take time out. Don’t be afraid to go to a quiet room for a while and try a five minute meditation, you will find this may also help you to recharge and give clarity of mind. Emotional Freedom Technique is also very good for relieving stress and bringing down and taking control of anxious and overwhelming feelings. It’s also a good tool for letting negative feelings out, letting go of them and replacing them with positive ones. See a basic EFT instruction video here.

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are finding Christmas preparations too demanding then don’t be afraid to ask for help! Those involved in your Christmas preparation and festivities will also feel much happier that they are able to contribute to your celebrations. Trying to deliver the whole of Christmas by yourself may become too overwhelming and unmanageable.

 

  1. Help is out there! If you continue to have stressful feelings or your emotions are escalating to the point where you just cannot cope then you may seek professional help or if it is an acute emotional crisis a sympathetic ear is always available at the Samaritans.

 

 

I hope that these tips help you to get through the holiday period and relieves any possible Christmas stress and  you all have a fantastic time. Remember be positive, keep calm, and, most of all, HAVE FUN!!!!!

 

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

A man flying in the clouds with an ipad attached to his chest looking panicked.

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

Hello again everyone. Welcome to my latest blog about fear of flying. I apologise for there not being a blog for the last couple of weeks but this is due to me taking a much needed holiday. I always choose to go away somewhere nice and warm as it is coming to the end of winter here. It’s nice to soak up the sun after the many months of early darkness and dreary grey days knowing that on my return home that it is nearly spring and the days are getting longer and the sun is beginning to shine much more warming us both physically and mentally. Sometimes it’s not until you actually go away that you realise how much the rest is needed. While I was away it got me thinking about people that have a phobia of flying (aviophobia) and how awful it must be not to be able to just escape to another country when they feel like it. The interesting concept of phobias is that there is not normally a rational fear behind them. Even if the fear doesn’t actually prevent a person from travelling anywhere it can greatly impair their enjoyment of the journey. We all know that flying is actually one of the safest forms of transport but many still hold a fear which is out of their control. So, what can they do about it?  After all there is far greater risk, statistically, of being kicked to death by a donkey than dying in a plane crash.

I have had a very high success rate with fear of flying using a combination of Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is a great self-help tool that can be used to bring down any anxiety about flying and the beneficial aspect of this therapy is that, once learned, it can be used anywhere. On the way to the airport, at the airport or sitting on a plane. That is the wonder of emotional freedom technique. I would, however, look deeper into the root cause of the problem to help clear the phobia using hypnotherapy. In my experience the majority of the time it’s because of one issue – CONTROL. People feel out of control in a plane. The average person does not have is a great understanding of how planes work and what the noises are that they hear and where there is a lack of understanding people feel out of control with many not able to put their trust in a pilot that they don’t know and a machine that they don’t understand. If a client feels out of control in their life then this problem will just be exacerbated. This may not  necessarily mean that the client is feeling out of control presently but using hypno-analysis we can look into the past and find out the originating cause of the phobia. This may not necessarily even have anything to do with flying or planes but may just simply be a control issue or a deeper set condition.

I once had a client, many years ago, that had never flown and even if she saw a plane flying overhead she would duck in panic! Hypnosis regressed her to eight years old where she remembered watching a news report about a plane that crashed onto a motorway. This had made the news as it was such a rare occurrence but the fear of seeing that at her young age was repressed into the subconscious causing her phobia. Reliving this event as an adult helped release the negative emotion stuck in the subconscious and we used some suggestion therapy for another couple of sessions re-framing any negative thoughts related to flying. She wrote to me after, happily informing me she had taken a short flight and actually enjoyed it and had booked a much longer flight for her honeymoon.

So, what should you do and not do should you suffer from fear of flying?

  • Don’t avoid flying. It is a treatable problem. Fears and phobias have one of the highest success rates for treatment of psychological problems. We tend to make ourselves feel safer by avoiding things but we truly grow by stepping outside our comfort zone.
  • Think about the destination you are going to. Really focus on all the positive things about being there.
  • Challenge any negative thoughts. There is a big difference between discomfort and danger. Think about your triggers. If turbulence is a trigger, for example, think about it logically. ‘Ok I might spill my drink but the plane isn’t going to fall apart.”
  • Learn some relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises, meditation and of course emotional freedom technique will all help. Reading is also a very good distraction or listening to music.
  • Keep hydrated. Try to avoid alcohol and drugs. Before and during the flight, it’s important to keep blood sugar levels up. Stick to water and juices to keep hydrated and remember to eat little and often to maintain your energy, which can help control anxiety levels. Rest if you can, though sleep is not essential.

To learn more and for further support with any of these issues please contact me for a free initial consultation.

Happy Holidays! 😉

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