Tag: <span>hypnosis</span>

Avoiding arguments • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

First Blog Of The New Year – Preventing Heated Arguments

Two people pulling on each end of a gold chain with a sign in the middle of the chain saing 'Why I'm Right'

Happy New Year everyone and welcome to my first blog of 2017. Sorry that it’s been a bit delayed but things have been busy here at positivelycalm. I hope we all had good Christmas and New Year celebrations. Did everyone got through it in one piece without too many arguments?;-) I say this because it can be a stressful time for some people and along with too much alcohol sometimes things get heated. We have all heard of the famous Christmas argument. Well with many people making new years resolutions concerning quitting bad habits and weight loss how about a resolution to keep calm and stop arguing? It doesn’t have to be the start of a new year to make a resolution; we can make change at any time. I always find arguing such a waste of energy. After all what is arguing? It is just difference of opinion and wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we all thought the same? Our opinions come from our different backgrounds and experiences which colour our thoughts and judgments in later life so, of course, we can’t all have the same ideas. And discussing things calmly is a fantastic way of learning from each other but when things get heated or aggressive then that is when it becomes an argument. And what is the best way to lose an argument? Exactly that! Getting aggressive really takes away all credibility.
So what is an argument? A dictionary definition of an argument is as follows:
1. Give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view.
2. Exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.
So yes it is great to debate things but when people start getting upset or angry it can cause a bad atmosphere and bad feeling. How can we avoid this?
First of all listen! Just by showing the other person that you are taking into account what they are saying will make them feel better. It doesn’t mean that you have to agree to what they are saying.
Display open body language. Crossing your arms or turning away from a person is an aggressive gesture that is just going to aggravate the person that you are conversing with.
Try not to raise your voice. Keep it on an even level. There is a big difference between argumentative and assertive behaviour. It is much better to be assertive and get your point across without losing your temper.
If you feel yourself getting angry then talk about your feelings. It’s much better to discharge them by speaking before you get angry otherwise that leads to frustration. If you can both consciously take five minutes each at the beginning to talk about your feelings this can really help keep your anger down.
Don’t make threats. This is a very weak way of trying to convince someone to understand you.
Don’t bring up negative feelings that the other person may have done in the past. Try to calmly concentrate on the matter in hand.
Abuse is never acceptable. This includes verbal or physical abuse. If the discussion/argument reaches this point then walk away.
Don’t be goaded into an argument. Even negative attention is attention for some people. Some people actually do like to argue because it gives them a sense of power or gratification albeit temporary. Avoid getting sucked into their need for attention.
Listen to your body. When you are angry your body releases chemicals that may cause you to react in ways that can be destructive to you. Learn to understand your feelings and how the process of anger affects you physically and emotionally.
Sometimes if you start feeling negative feelings in your body from arguing you need to step back and take a deep breath and think about what you are saying. Our subconscious will always jump in before our conscious so a great deal of the time when you are having an argument you end up saying something that just makes the argument ten times worse before you have even had a chance to think about it.
If you are finding avoiding arguing hard that is where Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique can help. No one really wants to walk around with these negative feelings and often we don’t have any idea why we are feeling them because they spring from repressed negative feelings in the subconcious. Working with a trained therapist can bring these negative feelings out and take a huge weight off your shoulders. Anger management is a big part of my client base here at positivelycalm where I provide a top class Hypnotherapy service in Essex.
For further information do not hesitate to contact me on 07795573280 or complete this contact form.
Wishing you all a positively calm and argument free New Year!

Therapy • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

Therapy is a journey – Don’t give up!

A sunset over clouds with the words dont give up

One of the most frustrating things for all therapists has to be when clients give up on therapy so easily. Many clients want a quick fix and for you to be able to wave a magic wand and make them better – Just like that! Although stage hypnosis does give the impression that this is possible it really isn’t quite like that. What hypnotherapy can do though is help you get better more quickly than with just talking therapies. The reason for this is that we are working with the subconscious. When you are working with just talking therapies it can take a lot longer to get down to a subconscious process. By using hypnosis we can bypass the conscious and get straight to the root cause or emotional repression that is causing a particular symptom. This still isn’t necessarily going to happen overnight though. Some things are quick to fix. Quit smoking can usually be dealt with in one two hour session. But for many emotional and anxiety problems we are looking at several sessions. And therapy can be TOUGH! Much of the time we are dealing with negative emotions that have been suppressed in the subconscious for so long that we have to relive those emotions to release them. I am quite happy when there is a client crying in the chair not because I am a wicked person that likes to see pain but because I know that emotion is being released and that very release is going to help my client get better.

However, it is not always the case that you have to get worse before you get better. In some clients cases they start feeling better after just one session and for others its two or three sessions. No client is a text book case. Most commonly clients are up and down as they are going through therapy and when they are up that is normally a good indication of how they are going to feel once their therapy is complete. However tough your therapy feels while you are going through it don’t give up. It is so much worth it in the end. I am so glad I went through with mine as it has turned my life around and to think I could still be the same way I always was if I hadn’t have completed my therapy. I have to admit that there were times when I thought Why am I doing this? But I knew deep down that facing those demons was the best thing that I could do. And I know it is a brave thing to do. So to anyone going through therapy I do commend your bravery. Never give up.

Another reason people sometimes use to give up on therapy is the cost. It often suprises me the things that some people will prioritise in front of their own mental and emotional health.  If someone chooses not to have therapy but will spend that money on alcohol or even drugs, new clothes, a handbag or accessories It is usually a case of sticking to an old routine of trying to make themselves better by using these devices to ‘patch’  things up. That isn’t going to make the problem go away. It may make a person feel a little better for a short while and give them a boost but that will soon pass.

Another reason someone may give up on therapy is because of outside influences. Maybe there is someone that doesn’t want to see them getting better so is putting them off. This does happen on the odd occasion. Normally there is a hidden agenda there.

Even though therapy can sometimes be tough it is very positive and beneficial and is actually an exciting journey into self discovery. So if you start the journey don’t give up!!    We are all learning about ourselves all the time and that includes me! And if you want to start your journey contact me here at positivelycalm to start your hypnotherapy in Essex.

Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

mr-worry

General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

Hello everyone and I hope that you have all had a positive week. This week I am talking about general anxiety disorder. Although this is a common symptom in a therapists consulting room I seem to have had a lot more enquiries/appointments  booked regarding this subject recently. Much more than normal.
Although everyone has times in their lives when they can get anxious or even nervous it becomes  a problem when these symptoms get so frequent and so strong that it takes over their lives. So how can you tell if it has become too much? Well if you are suffering from any of these symptoms on a regular basis you might want to get some help.

If you are worrying excessively about everyday things however big or small they might be. If you lay in bed at night and can’t go to sleep because you are overthinking these things or situations. Do you worry about things that haven’t happened and may never happen? Are these thoughts becoming more and more persistent?

Do you have irrational fears attached to a specific situation, event or thing? This could be social situations, flying, traveling, certain animals or insects or do you have a fear of heights. If your reactions are way out of proportion to the actual harm that could realistically happen to you then you are suffering from a phobia which is also a part symptom of general anxiety disorder.

Are you suffering from any physical symptoms? Muscle tension or tension headaches or even migraine on a regular basis? Sometimes people get so used to being tense that after a while they don’t realise they are suffering from symptoms until they are relaxed with hypnotherapy or other forms of relaxation. Other physical symptoms of anxiety are chronic digestive problems such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). The symptoms of IBS would be stomachaches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Another symptom of GAD could be Stage fright. Most people get at least a few butterflies before addressing a group of people or otherwise being in the spotlight. But if the fear is so strong or if you spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it, you may have a form of social anxiety disorder. Are you very self concious in front of only a small group of people. That is exactly how I was myself before I had my own therapy that led me myself to want to help others and become a hypnotherapist in Essex.

Have you ever suffered from a panic attack? A sudden  Rush of helplessness to your body with symptoms including breathing problems, a pounding or racing heart, tingling or numb hands, sweating, weakness or dizziness, chest pain, stomach pain, and feeling hot or cold. A real sick feeling in your stomach almost frozen on the spot. Not knowing whether to hit out (fight) or run (flight). This is called the fight or flight response.

Do you have flashbacks to a disturbing or traumatic event that has happened in the past? Do you constantly think or obsess about it. This is a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which is also linked to GAD.

And finally are you obsessive? Are you constantly looking for everything you do to be perfect. Do you beat yourself up a lot in your mind with a feeling of nothing that you do is ever good enough.
Do you rely on alcohol or other drugs to mask your feelings?

If you have any of the above symptoms then you are probably suffering from a form of GAD. So, what can you do about it? I used to suffer from some of these symptoms and as I have mentioned in earlier blogs I went through Hypno-analysis and this cured me. In fact that is what lead me to become a therapist and want to help others. Analysis consisted of being regressed to events in my early life that caused my symptoms and by doing this emotional repressions were released allowing me to move forward. Another good tool for helping with GAD is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). I wish I had known about this powerful therapeutic tool when I was younger. It’s a great way to clear fears, anxieties and blockages in life.  Otherwise known as tapping, in a nutshell, it is tapping on your acupuncture points along with some talking therapy.  For more information see this video on EFT and you can also see this video of me showing you the EFT tapping points.

No one wants to be going through life with these symptoms and being shown the way to move forward and alleviate these symptoms has such an impact on peoples lives that they can emerge in a much bright and positive world.

If you suffer in any way with any of these symptoms do not hesitate to contact me for a free initial consultation at my Hypnotherapy practice in Hullbridge Essex.

 

 

Uncategorized • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

Hypnotherapy and Addiction

Hypnotherapy and addiction

Image saying addiction there is a way out

This week I am talking about addiction and how hypnotherapy can help. The word addiction comes from the latin word addiction which mean a ‘giving over, surrender to.’ The dictionary would describe the noun for the word addiction as ‘the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.’ Some scientists  believe that some of us have naturally addictive personalities which could be a make up of our genetics. It may be harder for people with certain genes to quit once they start. Or they may experience more severe withdrawal symptoms if they try to quit.

Habits are not addictions, but bad habits share traits of addictive behaviors and bad habits can become addictions. Things like sex-addiction and gambling can have a huge control over peoples lives. And there is the key word ‘control’. If something has such a control over our lives there is nothing more empowering than taking that control back.

Cocaine addiction seems to be becoming more common and I have noticed quite a dramatic rise in clients with cocaine addiction since I first started working as a therapist fifteen years ago. Smoking has, of course, always been a popular one for addicts and also alcohol. This is also where we cross into a grey area with the difference between addiction and habit. I see smoking as more of a habit which is why we can use some psychotherapy and suggestion to break the habit rather than having to get to a root cause of the problem. All that is needed for this is one 2-hour quit-smoking session and that session has a high success rate. If, on the rare occasion, this is not successful then I would look into some analysis to see if there is an emotion being fed.

 

Factors that make it harder to become addicted also may be genetic. For example, someone may feel sick from a drug that makes other people feel good. But someone’s genetic makeup will never doom them to inevitably become an addict. Remember, environment makes up a large part of addiction risk. This is where I believe that hypno-analysis is very important to get to the root cause of what may be causing the addiction or indeed root causes as this is often more than one factor. Hypno-analysis is a tool used in hypnotherapy to discharge any negative emotion from the subconscious that may be causing symptoms. We refer to these trapped negative emotions as ‘repressions’. During our former years from when we are born to when we mature, this could be 16,17,18, we are all different, if something happens to us that we cannot emotionally deal with then that emotion gets repressed into our subconscious and it can sit there causing us to do things that are out of our control. In my experience these memories are normally remembered consciously but when hypnotising a client and suggesting to the subconscious that it release anything that may still be bothering it what the client is not normally aware of is how much emotion is still attached to that memory. It is that very emotion which has been causing the symptom wether it be anxiety, bad habits, addiction or fears. Because our subconscious always overrides our conscious that is why we feel we don’t have control over our addiction. It’s a bit like the smoker who has a cigarette  lit in his/her hand before they have even consciously thought about lighting a cigarette. This is why hypnotherapy is effective for quit-smoking because it does some re-programming in the subconscious stopping the client thinking about smoking all the time. This is where suggestion works comes into play. So where hypno-analysis uses regression to let go of past trauma suggestion is used to re-frame negative thoughts in our subconscious to help us overcome our symptom. Therefore I would normally use a combination of hypno-analysis and suggestion when helping a client overcome an addiction using hypnotherapy.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also known as tapping can also be used alongside hypnotherapy as a tool to ‘tap away’ our negative emotions that may be related to a particular habit or addiction. This is a great tool to give a client to take away with them to use should they get any unwanted urges towards their particular habit or addiction. Using this tool they can bring down the strength of the particular emotion that could be driving their addiction or habit. It’s another great way for the client to take control back. Please see my Emotional Freedom Technique Page and video for further information.

No one should be kept from living the life of their dreams because of an addiction or a bad habit.

 

Motivation • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • By Brad Mace 0 Comments

Motivation

Hello again everyone and welcome to my third blog. This week I have decided to talk about motivation.  Funnily enough I had to motivate myself to write this blog! At the end of the last blog you will remember me putting that I would write about motivation in the next blog. Well I am not sure where that came from. It just came into my mind, probably because, yes, it is an important part of a hypnotherapists work. When I really thought about it though I wondered how I could possibly condense that down into about a thousand words for a blog. After all there is so much to be said about motivation. Then I got a cold. It is very rare for me to not feel well. I became de-motivated! Sometimes though our bodies have ways of telling us that we have to slow down and I believe this is what happened. So, between clients, I recharged and re-motivated myself.

What is motivation?  Motivation is defined as the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviours. So, motivation can be self-orientated and it can also be used to motivate others. The Cambridge English dictionary describes the nouns of motivation as both enthusiasm and reason. For example ‘there seems to be a lack of motivation among the employees’, ‘that student lacks motivation’ (enthusiasm) or what was the motivation for the attack and’ the motivation behind the decision is the desire to improve the service to our customers’ (reason).

There are two ways motivation works in hypnotherapy. First I will talk about the definition of reason. This would be what I, as a hypnotherapist, would be looking for during  hypno-analysis.  Hypno-analysis is the process of hypnotising a client and guiding them back to their former years to find out any emotional baggage that their subconscious may be holding onto. By doing this we can find out what  colours the individuals thoughts and behaviours and makes that person act in a certain way. For example, if a client was seeing me for weight loss and we regressed to a time in childhood where that particular person had been told off for not eating all their meal then their protective subconscious may have held onto negative emotion related to this that then caused that individual to always finish a meal even if they felt full and to overeat. It would be a learnt thought process that eating everything was good. By releasing this as an adult the adult mind realises that actually this is not quite true and that person can move forward more healthily. Suggestion would also be used here to reinforce healthy eating and only eat as much as is needed.

So many things happen in our former years that can affect our motivation. If there is a lot of trauma this can lead to depression which has a huge effect on our motivation. Anyone that has suffered from depression realises that it can be hard to even motivate yourself out of bed in the morning. If somebody was constantly told that they were useless, that they would never amount to anything then they may become de-motivated. So there are reasons behind each of ours very ways of being. What motivates or de- motivates one person will not necessarily be the same as another. Once we clear what has de-motivated an individual we can move onto motivating them in the right direction which leads me onto the second definition of ‘enthusiasm’.  So where a hypnotherapist has used hypno-analysis to find the reason for demotivation he/she can then use suggestion therapy to motivate and enthuse the client. Some clients will get positive results just from some suggestion work. For example I have had marathon runners beat their best time by having some suggestion work to help with motivation. If a person is generally de-motivated in life though we would have to start looking at the core reason for this. A person may come to me for a quit-smoking session. This is a one off two hour session using psychotherapy in the first hour and then an hour of hypnosis using suggestion therapy to quit the habit. If anyone still smokes after this then I offer a free top up session. It is very rare that anyone needs to return for this. However if they do and then after that the habit is still there then it indicates a much deeper rooted reason for self-destruction that would have to be investigated with analysis should the client wish to go down that route.

Some of us are better at self-motivation than others and some of us are better at motivating others. That doesn’t always necessarily mean that they are as good at motivating themselves. All of this comes down to life experience.

So, have a think. What motivates you? Also, what de-motivates you? If we can face up to some of our demons that de-motivate then it makes it much easier to motivate ourselves. Willpower has a great effect on our motivation but what makes some people have stronger willpower than others? Again it’s very much down to life’s experiences. “All you need is will power” is part of the new years resolution language. Many hypnotherapists find that they get their busiest periods towards the end of January when people are breaking their new years resolutions by not being able to break a bad habit by willpower alone. Motivation hypnotherapy is a great strengthener to a clients will power.

Of course there are many other factors that can de-motivate us. Illness, for example. As I mentioned earlier I became de-motivated when I got a cold. Don’t beat yourself up if at times you are not as motivated as others. There is really only a problem if you are never motivated to do anything.

It’s not only hypnotherapy that can help with motivation but also EFT. Finding your blocks to success and then tapping away those blocks! Look at my EFT page for more information.

Alcohol or narcotics abuse will definitely demotivate you. Don’t fall into the trap that drugs will give you a buzz and energy. They can end up taking control of your life and motivation is about being in control.

Sometimes just having a goal is enough to motivate us. I know, personally, if I have a few extra pounds on and I have a holiday booked those few extra pounds are going to be gone by the time I get on that beach!!!

So think about what could motivate you towards your goal and if there is no goal there find one!

Hypnotherapy discount for emergency service and care workers

In the fast-paced and high-stakes world of emergency services, the mental and emotional well-being of personnel is often …

Revolutionising Mental Health: BWRT – The Therapy World’s Storming Solution

  In recent years, the world of therapy and mental health has witnessed a paradigm shift in the way we approach and …

Breaking the Silence: The Celebrity Shield in Sexual Abuse Cases

In recent years, the world has witnessed a growing wave of movements and campaigns aimed at raising awareness about sexual …