Category: positivity

Keeping on that positive vibe……..

Keeping on that positive vibe

Everyone has bad days from time to time. Although we all tend to want to be positive there are often over riding factors. We are all human after all and there is no such thing as a perfect life. For whatever reason challenges are often sent our way but it is how we choose to react to those challenges that determines our mindset. I’m often asked what we can do to keep our energy positive so here are a few ideas.

Express gratitude – When negative events or people have an effect on your life it is always important to remember all the good things that you do have to balance this out. Try at least once a week to reflect on what you are grateful for and why. You may want to write down all the positive things about your career, your love or family and friends that support you. Remember a really good or positive event from your life and concentrate on how that makes you feel.

Meditation – Sometimes we need to let go of over whelming thoughts and clear our minds of clutter. Deep breathing exercise and relaxing music can help with this. Also repeating positive affirmations can be a great help as this can help train your mind to believe the affirmation and guide you towards your positive goal. Click here to see my blog on meditation.

Challenge your negative thoughts – Whenever negative thoughts come into our minds we can choose how we respond to them. It’s easy for our minds to tend to dwell on negative events which can end up magnifying things far bigger than they really are. Try interpreting these things differently. For example your car won’t start in the morning. Instead of thinking ‘I’m rubbish, everything goes wrong for me’ try thinking ‘It’s good that this has happened now and I haven’t been left stranded on a motorway.’ Anyone that has had cognitive behavioural therapy will know that this involves keeping a thought and feelings diary. This helps to bring negativity into a real perspective and we are able to reframe these thoughts and feeling much more positively. This is all about re-training the mind and although it might not happen overnight this is something that with practice will start coming to you more naturally.

Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT is a really good tool for confronting our negative feelings until we can bring the feeling down and then re-framing positively. This is done by tapping on acupuncture points alongside affirmation like suggestion. For more about emotional freedom technique please click here.

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

A man flying in the clouds with an ipad attached to his chest looking panicked.

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

Hello again everyone. Welcome to my latest blog about fear of flying. I apologise for there not being a blog for the last couple of weeks but this is due to me taking a much needed holiday. I always choose to go away somewhere nice and warm as it is coming to the end of winter here. It’s nice to soak up the sun after the many months of early darkness and dreary grey days knowing that on my return home that it is nearly spring and the days are getting longer and the sun is beginning to shine much more warming us both physically and mentally. Sometimes it’s not until you actually go away that you realise how much the rest is needed. While I was away it got me thinking about people that have a phobia of flying (aviophobia) and how awful it must be not to be able to just escape to another country when they feel like it. The interesting concept of phobias is that there is not normally a rational fear behind them. Even if the fear doesn’t actually prevent a person from travelling anywhere it can greatly impair their enjoyment of the journey. We all know that flying is actually one of the safest forms of transport but many still hold a fear which is out of their control. So, what can they do about it?  After all there is far greater risk, statistically, of being kicked to death by a donkey than dying in a plane crash.

I have had a very high success rate with fear of flying using a combination of Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is a great self-help tool that can be used to bring down any anxiety about flying and the beneficial aspect of this therapy is that, once learned, it can be used anywhere. On the way to the airport, at the airport or sitting on a plane. That is the wonder of emotional freedom technique. I would, however, look deeper into the root cause of the problem to help clear the phobia using hypnotherapy. In my experience the majority of the time it’s because of one issue – CONTROL. People feel out of control in a plane. The average person does not have is a great understanding of how planes work and what the noises are that they hear and where there is a lack of understanding people feel out of control with many not able to put their trust in a pilot that they don’t know and a machine that they don’t understand. If a client feels out of control in their life then this problem will just be exacerbated. This may not  necessarily mean that the client is feeling out of control presently but using hypno-analysis we can look into the past and find out the originating cause of the phobia. This may not necessarily even have anything to do with flying or planes but may just simply be a control issue or a deeper set condition.

I once had a client, many years ago, that had never flown and even if she saw a plane flying overhead she would duck in panic! Hypnosis regressed her to eight years old where she remembered watching a news report about a plane that crashed onto a motorway. This had made the news as it was such a rare occurrence but the fear of seeing that at her young age was repressed into the subconscious causing her phobia. Reliving this event as an adult helped release the negative emotion stuck in the subconscious and we used some suggestion therapy for another couple of sessions re-framing any negative thoughts related to flying. She wrote to me after, happily informing me she had taken a short flight and actually enjoyed it and had booked a much longer flight for her honeymoon.

So, what should you do and not do should you suffer from fear of flying?

  • Don’t avoid flying. It is a treatable problem. Fears and phobias have one of the highest success rates for treatment of psychological problems. We tend to make ourselves feel safer by avoiding things but we truly grow by stepping outside our comfort zone.
  • Think about the destination you are going to. Really focus on all the positive things about being there.
  • Challenge any negative thoughts. There is a big difference between discomfort and danger. Think about your triggers. If turbulence is a trigger, for example, think about it logically. ‘Ok I might spill my drink but the plane isn’t going to fall apart.”
  • Learn some relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises, meditation and of course emotional freedom technique will all help. Reading is also a very good distraction or listening to music.
  • Keep hydrated. Try to avoid alcohol and drugs. Before and during the flight, it’s important to keep blood sugar levels up. Stick to water and juices to keep hydrated and remember to eat little and often to maintain your energy, which can help control anxiety levels. Rest if you can, though sleep is not essential.

To learn more and for further support with any of these issues please contact me for a free initial consultation.

Happy Holidays! 😉

Having a bad day? What can you do?

Having a bad day? What can you do about it?

A sign with a flower in the background that says "It's just a bad day, not  bad life"

Hello everyone and thank you for taking a look at my latest blog. It’s a funny time of year as there is a sense that we are coming to the end of winter and soon the greyness will be going out of our lives. We have had a couple of days of sunshine which gives us a real indication of what is to come and it’s suprising what a positive effect that this can have on our feelings. I happen to like all seasons. I love the sunshine and warmth and that in the summer we can do so much more outside. I also love the cosiness of winter and curling up in front of the fire on a cold night and watching a nice film or becoming engrossed in a good book. I love it when Spring arrives and the garden starts coming alive again and I love the beautifully natural colours of autumn. But whatever time of the year it is we can all have bad days. Even the most minor of things can trigger a bad day. A falling out with a friend, getting stuck in traffic making you late for work or even just, as the cliché goes, getting out the wrong side of bed. Just one unkind or critical word from someone can put you in a bad mood and onto a negative vibe. Even I am not immune to this and have to check myself sometimes to get myself back onto a positive  vibe. We all know that one negative comment can make all the energy drain from your body. So what can we do about this?  What tools can we use combat negativity and get us back onto a positive vibe?

Sometimes just getting back to nature can help raise your vibration. A walk in the park or local forest. Breathing in the fresh air and reflecting on things. Even walking on the grass in bare feet can be very grounding.

If you are feeling low it’s always a good idea not to go onto social media. Looking at other peoples lives can sometimes give us a feeling of inadequacy if things aren’t feeling right in our own lives. There are a lot of positive benefits to social media but not always when we are feeling down. I do also believe that all these wifi networks and different radio frequencies  traveling through our air waves are taking us away from natural energies.

Exercise is always good to make us feel positive wether it is going for a run, going to the gym or partaking in our favourite sport, bike rides or an exercise class. All these things stimulate blood flow and let off our endorphins which are our natural feel good hormone.

Another good technique is to put onto paper what is bothering you. I would recommend to do this by hand and not just type onto a computer because I believe there is a much more powerful discharge of emotion by putting pen to paper. If it’s someone who has bothered you then maybe write them a letter. You don’t have to send it to them. You can burn it after. You can also burn anything written about what is bothering you in your own life. It’s a good way to get negative feelings off your chest. LET IT GO! Once you have done this you can write a list of all the positive things in your life that you are so grateful for.

Meditation is  great for relieving stress and reducing our anxiety. Deep breathing exercises and positive visualisation will help stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, quieting down your stress response.

Any of you animal lovers spend time with your pets! Petting or stroking an animal can have such positive and soothing effects on us. If you haven’t got a pet but like animals then visit someone who has or even go to a local petting farm.

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!  I think hugs solve so many things. As humans we are becoming so detached from each other. I know some people that stay in the same room and exchange words on social networks or even texts!   If you are feeling down grab your partner, a close friend or a family member and share a loving hug with them. It is amazing how much better you will feel.

Book something to look forward to. Wether it is a holiday, a weekend away or even a theatre show or a visit to a faraway friend that you have not seen in a long time. Make that positive move and have something exciting to feel excited about in your future.

Listen to your favourite music! Listening to music can really alter your mood and help to alleviate depression. It could be a good idea to make a feelgood playlist for you mp3 player or phone. Put in it all the songs that make you feel good!

If I am feeling particularly negative I take a shower!  I imagine that the water is washing all the negativity off me and disposing of it down the drain. I find this to be very effective. Also you can alternate the hot and cold tap to help increase your circulation and get rid of negative energy.

Another good idea is to watch a funny comedy even if it is something that you have seen before. If you can laugh then I believe that is the greatest form of therapy anybody can have. Sometimes just watching a few funny you tube clips can help lift your spirits.

If all else fails then learn Emotional Freedom Technique. I do believe this to be such a positive tool and you can see a video of me teaching the basic recipe to learn this fantastic tool here.

If these bad days are getting more often than not then I offer a kind and confidential therapy service including Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique in Essex. For information on this please complete this contact form here or contact me on 01702 233323 or 07795573280.

I hope that you have  found some of this information useful and I hope that you all have a fantastic and positively Calm week !

 

 

 

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