Tag: <span>Anxiety</span>

Take Control Of Your Life!

A picture of a person picking up a large control key from a keyboard and holding it over their head and walking away from the keyboard with the words 'taking control' at the top of the pictureDo you ever feel out of control of your life? Your all powerful subconscious mind that runs in the background and over rides all conscious thought is an amazing tool if used correctly and the key to taking control of your life. Your subconscious mind controls all the vital processes of your body and knows the answers to all problems. One way of proving this to yourself is to, before sleep, turn over a specific request to your subconscious mind. The more you practice this then the more your belief system will take this request on board as a truth and begin to make it a reality. This is why it is so important to carefully watch all ideas and thoughts entertained in the conscious mind. The law of action and reaction is universal. Your thought is action, and the reaction is the automatic response of your subconscious mind to your thoughts. Watch your thoughts!

When we feel frustration it is due to unfulfilled desires so if you dwell on obstacles, delays and difficulties your subconscious mind will respond accordingly and you are blocking your own good. Affirmations can be a really effective way of re-programming the subconscious mind to steer it towards more positive goals.

You already know that you can interfere with the normal rhythm on your heart, lungs and other organs by worry, anxiety and fear so if you feed your subconscious with thoughts of harmony, health, and peace all the functions of your body will become normal again.

Keep your conscious mind busy with the expectation of the best, and your subconscious will faithfully reproduce your habitual thinking.

IMAGINE the happy ending or solution to your problems, feel the thrill of accomplishments and what you imagine and feel will be accepted by your subconscious mind. Our imagination is such a powerful tool and by training it in a positive way it can bring so many positive attributes to our lives.

Another way of re-training our subconscious mind is through the power of hypnosis. Using hypnotherapy we can remove negative blocks that are getting in the way of our goals. Hypno-analysis is a very good tool for weeding out any negative thoughts by removing undesired emotional attachments to negative memories then by re-framing the mind and adding some positive suggestion to the subconscious through hypnosis this frees your mind to move towards your positive outcome.

Things to remember:

  • Get rid of the negative thinking – No longer think and believe that you can’t. Negative thoughts lead to negative beliefs, which create more misery. So get rid of these negative thoughts as quickly as possible. If you entertain more negative thoughts you’ll be directing your subconscious mind to create more negative situations. You’ll be using your mind power to bring you more pain.
  • Visualize – Picture yourself getting what you want and succeeding. Always believe that you can and will succeed. Mind power relies on your thoughts, beliefs and how you see yourself. Make them all positive and your subconscious mind will deliver.

 

  • Never give up – Most people give up on their goals just when they’re on the verge of succeeding. You’re closer to succeeding than you realize so keep striving to achieve the success you want and keep believing in yourself.

 

Your subconscious can work for you like MAGIC!  So use it wisely. For more information of mind related matters please contact me here.

 

 

A Christmas Stress Buster!

A picture of a woman with her mouth wide open like a scream wearing a santa hat surrounded by wrapped presents with the word help on the left

 

Even though tis the season to be jolly, for some people this puts on an added pressure to show an outward happiness that, for whatever reason, one does not feel inside. This can compound negative feelings and make a person feel even more isolated, especially if there has been increased stress, tragedy or bereavement in a persons life. Sometimes the stress can be simply having to welcome unwanted guests or unwanted demands on top of our normal everyday life such as extra shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining to name just a few but this all adds to Christmas stress.

Using just a few practical tips these could help you enjoy the Christmas season more than you thought and minimize any stress. So here goes……

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings. If your loved ones are absent or if a loved one has recently died it’s OK to cry and let your feelings out. Don’t try and force yourself to be happy just because it is Christmas. This will just put unwanted pressure on yourself and make yourself feel worse.

 

  1. Contact that friend! If you are feeling lonely or isolated then try and reach out and speak to someone. If there isn’t anyone you know that you can speak to then try not to isolate yourself and seek out some community events. Volunteering is a good way to keep yourself occupied taking your mind of stressful thoughts and this is also a good way of meeting new people. This can generate some feel good positive thinking because you are giving something back to society. Just remember extra volunteers are always extra volunteers needed at Christmas time, especially in soup kitchens and homeless shelters.

 

 

  1. Forget Perfection! Be realistic with yourself. Christmas does not have to be the perfect day and does not have to be the same as last year and previous happy Christmases. Things do change, people move away, children may branch out with their own friends and their new families and therefore traditions can alter and change. People who previously made up your festival group festivities including children, friends and family circumstances may have changed so they may not be able to be with you over the Christmas period. You can find other ways of celebrating together. A phone call, skype or sharing videos and photos. No-one needs to be isolated with the way communication is these days.

 

  1. Forget your differences. Set aside any grievances or grudges until a more appropriate time for discussion to avoid any negativity on the day. Try to be understanding if others get disappointed or upset if things don’t quite go the way that they were planned. Remember as the year is drawing to an end instinctively we reflect on the past twelve months and there is a risk, especially with the festive alcohol that negative memories may come to the forefront of our minds.

 

 

  1. Don’t overspend. When you go shopping set a budget and stick to it. Don’t spend over your means as this just creates unwanted stress that could last throughout the year.

 

  1. Set a plan and stick to it! Try and schedule your days leading up to Christmas so that you know when you are shopping, baking , cleaning etc….. Plan your menus so that you know exactly how much food that you are buying and stick to the shopping list. Do not be tempted to over buy, you will only be throwing it away.

 

 

  1. Exercise. Try and get some exercise and fresh air. Even if it means just going for a walk to clear your head. If you already do regular exercise then don’t abandon your normal routine completely. Try and fit in as much exercise as you can to keep you tip top and this will also help you get a good quality nights sleep to help you recharge your batteries for the next day.

 

  1. Take time out. Don’t be afraid to go to a quiet room for a while and try a five minute meditation, you will find this may also help you to recharge and give clarity of mind. Emotional Freedom Technique is also very good for relieving stress and bringing down and taking control of anxious and overwhelming feelings. It’s also a good tool for letting negative feelings out, letting go of them and replacing them with positive ones. See a basic EFT instruction video here.

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are finding Christmas preparations too demanding then don’t be afraid to ask for help! Those involved in your Christmas preparation and festivities will also feel much happier that they are able to contribute to your celebrations. Trying to deliver the whole of Christmas by yourself may become too overwhelming and unmanageable.

 

  1. Help is out there! If you continue to have stressful feelings or your emotions are escalating to the point where you just cannot cope then you may seek professional help or if it is an acute emotional crisis a sympathetic ear is always available at the Samaritans.

 

 

I hope that these tips help you to get through the holiday period and relieves any possible Christmas stress and  you all have a fantastic time. Remember be positive, keep calm, and, most of all, HAVE FUN!!!!!

 

Believe!

 

A person holding their hands in the air in triumph on a beach with the sea and a sunset in the background with the word believe at the top.

If you are not expecting it, you are not allowing it to happen

Your belief system brings into your life what you want to happen. If your beliefs are strong enough then what you believe will probably happen. If you believe everything in your life is bad then it is likely that you are going to bring bad events into your life. If you are optimistic and believe that good things are going to happen then that is what you are going to attract into your life. Simple? Yes and no. Sometimes because of negative events that have happened in our past it does sometimes take some retraining of our minds. And also remember that our minds and emotions are connected. So, if we are going to desire good things into our lives then remember each emotion indicates how much energy you are summoning. Your predominant thoughts and beliefs that you currently hold are all relative to your desire.

We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. If you look back through your own life you may notice how often you have gone through the same experience.

If you are feeling a very strong emotion, wether positive or negative, that means that your desire is powerfully focused and you are summoning a great deal of energy towards your desire. So, when your emotions feel bad, like depression, fear or anger, that means that you are offering a lot of resistance to your true desire. When your emotions are strong and feel really good , like enthusiasm, passion, positivity, expectation or love, that means that you are not offering out any resistance to that which you desire so the energy that you have summoned through what you desire is not being challenged vibrationally by yourself and you are then currently allowing the things that you desire to come into your life.

So it seems to be an obvious rule that the perfect situation to create and allow into your life what you desire is to really, really want something that you believe is possible. When that combination of both desire and belief is present within you all those things will quickly unfold into your life.

BUT when you want something that you do not believe is possible, when you have that desire but you do not expect it, it will not easily unfold into your life. Hypnotherapy and EFT can be fantastic tools to eradicate negative thoughts and feelings and make your belief system so much more positive!

Believe and Expect and the universe will answer your call……………..

Twin Peaks is my therapy

Agent Dale Cooper (played by actor Kyle Mcklachlan) at the end of a long corridor of red curtains with a black and white zig zagged floor in the black lodge in twin peaks

Twin peaks is back after 25 years and in typical David Lynch style it continues to shock, confuse and amaze those who follow the series. It may have been over 25 years since the last episode was shown but it has never been far from my mind. In fact, it has taken that amount of time to process and understand much of what went on in the show all those years ago, watching the episodes many times along with the feature film ‘twin peaks: fire walk with me’. This is why I’ve decided to write about how Twin Peaks has been my therapy.

So, why do I consider this surreal show therapy? Television in itself is hypnosis. When we are glued to that box we are taken places within our own minds and imagination. There is, however, no other show that hypnotises quite like twin peaks. One of the reasons I have watched the shows so many times is because I found that it relaxes me and opens my mind creatively. I have had some of my best creative ideas watching twin peaks. From the surreal images to the haunting and relaxing music of Angelo Badalamenti I can be taken right into the depths of my subconscious mind where creativity springs from. It’s quite ironic that a television series about the brutal murder of a high school prom queen can also relax and soothe the mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some very uneasy scenes of violence, horror and also hints of sexual abuse but there are so many different layers to Lynch’s film making. Of course, it isn’t just David Lynch but also Mark Frosts input that has made this such an incredible show. Forget the complexity of it. Although I don’t think there is any other show that causes so much discussion and different ideas and this in itself can be a form of therapy as it enables us to focus and think ‘outside the box’ but alongside this complexity there is also such an innocent simplicity. Many of the characters have a real  innocence about them that we instantly feel a warmth and rapport and a sense of protection to their very being. Lynch/Frost use many of these characters to bring humour to the show and bring a light heartedness, that, without it would probably make the storyline too dark and foreboding. One of these innocent characters is Lucy Brennan who is the Sheriff Departments receptionist who has an on/off relationship with Deputy Andy. She has some classic one liners and, although innocent, is nobody’s fool. Her sidekick Andy is also another innocent and enchanting character and the pair of them together bring a light warmth to some of the shows darkest moments.

Many of the characters are mysterious and enchanting, like the log lady who, as her title suggests, has a log that seems to know and understand much about the events that are taking place. ‘One day soon, my log will have something to say about this’ she teases very near the beginning of season one. Sadly the actress Catherine Coulson, who played the log lady, passed away during the filming of series three but not without filming her last scenes. And after watching these scenes in the first two episodes of series three it seems she very likely filmed these scenes on her death bed where she died from complications of cancer. This, to me, shows the dedication and passion that she had to the show and to David Lynch’s work who she had worked with many times over the years. In fact the idea for the log lady first came together many many years before in 1977 on the set of Lynch’s first ever, albeit low budget,  film ‘Eraserhead’ in which Coulson performed various behind the scenes functions. During the filming of ‘Eraserhead, Lynch told Coulson that he had an image in his head of her holding a large log. Fifteen years later, he created such a role for her in Twin Peaks, on which she starred for 12 episodes through seasons 1 and 2.

Coulson went on to reprise her role in the film prequel, Twin Peaks: Fire walk with me, and in the 2017 revival. In the new series, her character (the Log Lady) appears in the first two episodes, where she passes on a message from her log for Deputy Hawk to resume the search for Agent Cooper.

There is a strong mystic element to the log lady where she almost seems to have a psychic connection to her log. Very much in the way a witch would have a familiar such as a toad or cat or a psychic would have a crystal ball as a tool or ‘prop’ to channel psychic abilities. In fact there are many spiritual aspects to twin peaks. The red room which resides inside the black lodge where agent Cooper meets Laura Palmer is almost like a plane between the earth plane and the other side. In fact, this where he gets messages from various ‘spirits’. Although it doesn’t seem you have to be necesarily dead to be in the red room. Obviously Cooper isn’t but seems to visit when in a ‘dream like state’ or sleeping (Hey, that’s hypnosis!) In a recent episode in a dramatically horrifying scene a young boy gets hit by a truck and killed and when an older character tries to comfort the grieving mother he sees the child’s spirit going up into the sky.

Lynch has also reported that during the filming of Erasurehead that is where Coulson started practicing meditation having observed Lynch himself practice the technique.

And that leads me towards why I find Twin Peaks such a therapy in itself. Meditation. Meditation is a form of self-hypnosis. Although we all naturally go into hypnosis from times to time. Maybe through day dreaming or focus (ie.watching television) or driving from A to B and suddenly arriving without any idea of how we got there, the art of meditation can bring us into  much deeper depths of our subconscious mind. It is not only relaxing because it slows our body down from the strains of our everyday modern life but it is also therapeutic in the way that it lets our conscious minds switch off. It occurred to me last week when I was watching the latest episode of Twin Peaks: the return how quickly the episodes seem to fly by. A fifty minute episode (I watch without the ad breaks) literally feels like under ten minutes. As a hypnotherapist in Essex I know that when a client has been hypnotised, or indeed from my own experience of hypnosis, there seems to be hardly any concept of time. Lynch and Frost definitely seem to be giving us such an intense focus along with relaxing themes and some symbolism that are putting us into a meditative dream like state.  Although I have experienced a similar phenomenon in the past with other programs it has never been to this degree. So, from the angst of my late teens where the escapism was such an intense form of escape from my problems of the time to the hypnotic and meditative relaxation of today Twin Peaks has definitely been like my own form of therapy along with the group therapy of sharing ideas and concepts about the show online with fellow peakies! Lynch and Frost you have been the most wonderful therapist. Therapy never ends and let’s hope the show goes on further too and if it doesn’t?  Well I’ll just have to keep watching the episodes that have been made because with every new viewing you find something that you haven’t seen before.

For more information on hypnosis or hypnotherapy in please visit www.positivelycalm.com

 

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

A man climbing up the side of a rock with the words "never give up on youself"

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

Hello there everyone. I really hope that you are enjoying the summer! It’s so nice to get outside more often, have longer days and some nice healthy walks in the fresh air. I do apologise that I haven’t blogged for a few weeks but things here at Positivelycalm therapy have been busy busy busy!!

I’ve chosen to speak this week about the importance of sticking with therapy. One of the most disappointing aspects of any therapy practice is when a client quits therapy before it is complete. Although this doesn’t happen often there can be several reasons for this but the most common, especially when a client is going through analysis, is when a client is having difficulty coping with discharging negative feelings. Of course there are some problems that can be treated just with one or two sessions such as quit smoking but many symptoms require  full analysis. Every therapist would love to be able  wave a magic wand and make those negative feelings disappear straight away and if we could do it that quick I’m sure we would all be millionaires. The truth of the matter is that we do have to face up to these negative feelings before we can release them. To do this we have to relive or re-feel them in order for our subconscious and conscious adult minds to make sense of them to let them go. Therapy guides us to face up to those negative feelings buried in our subconscious but facing up to them and re living them as an adult is the most sure fire way of having an understanding of them and letting them go. During your therapy, over the weeks, there are moments when you can feel really good and this is an indication of how you shall feel once therapy had been completed. Not everyone’s therapy experience is the same and no one should be treated as a text book case as we are certainly all individuals. Some people start feeling better straightaway or after one or two sessions. Some people take longer and sometimes people are just very up and down throughout their therapy experience. These feelings are quite natural and all I can advise is not to give up and just ride the wave until the end. Therapy is very much a journey. It has its ups and downs but the destination is fantastic!

Another reason people may give up on therapy is that they just don’t believe that they are getting anywhere quick enough. They may have known someone who has had therapy and been better in two sessions yet they have had six sessions and are not yet anywhere near where they want to be feeling. Again we are all different. Our mind-sets and the way we all see things are different and our reactions to things are not all the same. Also some people’s problems are much more deep rooted than others. Any therapist would not be seeing you if they didn’t think that they would be able to help you and that is why I offer a free initial consultation so that I can ascertain wether I can be the best help for the particular problem  and the route of therapy to go down. If I don’t believe that I would be the best possible therapist for the particular problem then it is my duty to point you in the right direction and maybe towards a therapist who specialises in the particular area that you may need help. So, a therapist wouldn’t be seeing you if he/she didn’t think there could be an improvement. Some people just take longer than others. Some people take longer to subconsciously process things depending on how deep rooted the particular problem is and there are people that just need different therapy strategies and coping mechanism where there are some that alleviate their problem with one therapy which could also be alleviated in fewer sessions. SO DON’T GIVE UP!  Everyone deserves to feel good and not to carry around negativity. Don’t accept that’s just the way you are. We were not born negative. We can all change and we all deserve to change it’s just some people improve quicker than others. Please don’t give up because YOU ARE WORTH IT! 😉

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