Tag: <span>self belief</span>

The Power Of Matrix Reimprinting

A picture of some DNA with a outer space background and the words Matrix Reimprinting

 

Anyone who knows me socially knows that for the past 27 years I have been suffering from Tourette’s syndrome. Or, as the doctors preferred to say, Tourette’s like symptoms. This is because it is only recognised that Tourette’s sufferers usually start getting their symptoms in their formative years. It is not recognised that, as in my case, you can start getting Tourette’s symptoms at the age of 19. Before this time I had no history of tics. When I was 19 I was involved in a serious hit and run accident. Being hit at between 60 and 70 mph and being left for dead in the road I was completely unconscious and my femur had been shattered and I had a severe head injury. Although I recovered well and learnt to walk again I was left with some vocal and physical tics. I used to make some strange guttural sounds, my left arm used to fling out of its own accord and I was also known to bark! My accident and recovery had a lot to do with what lead me towards a healing profession and using the power of the mind to heal ourselves.

Although my Tourette’s symptoms were quite mild compared to many Tourette’s sufferers it has been very hard at times living with tics that were out of my control. Although I developed many coping mechanisms over the years it did still at times, knock my confidence. After brain scans and neurologists looking into my problem the only treatment they could come up with were prescribed drugs to soften the symptoms due to their diagnosis of a ‘chemical imbalance’ in the brain. I took these for about two weeks,(very many years ago) and never took them again as they seemed to also soften all my senses. Psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi once described a tic as “An over-strong memory fixation on the attitude of the body at the moment of……trauma”. Tics are believed to be old memories from a trauma that was not resolved. The roots of traumatisation can be described as a threat to survival in the face of helplessness which leads to the fight/flight/freeze response. I’ve always believed there was a ‘part’ of me still stuck in that fight/flight/freeze response.

I have been a fully qualified hypnotherapist and psychotherapist for the past 16 years and a member of the association for professional hypnosis and psychotherapy which is my governing body for which I have to follow a code of ethics, one of these being updating my skills and knowledge every year. Over the years I have learnt some great techniques to teach my clients, as well as to use on my own Tourette’s symptoms. Luckily I was able to overcome any tics whilst working with clients. I believe this was mainly due to being so focussed on said client.  Several years ago I qualified in EFT (emotional freedom technique otherwise known as tapping) and it was very good for helping to relieve some of my Tourette’s symptoms. I could use EFT to somewhat lessen my public display of Tourette’s, however the urges to tic were still there and most of the time still not controllable, requiring a lot of effort and concentration. Having gone as high as level 3 with EFT I had been toying with the idea for a few years of attending a course on EFT Matrix reimprinting. I had read a lot about this evolutionary technique developed by Karl Dawson who is one of only 29 EFT masters worldwide and author of Matrix Reimprinting using EFT and Transform your beliefs, transform your life. My symptoms earlier this year had seemed to be getting worse and I was finding it was taking much more energy to focus. Anyone who has suffered from tics will tell you that it is very tiring concentrating all the time on trying not to do something! So in June this year I took the plunge and got myself booked on a matrix reimprinting course in Brighton which Karl Dawson himself was teaching. Little was I to know that the days spent on this course was about to change my life.

Matrix Reimprinting is a powerful technique that uses EFT to resolve traumas from our past focussing on core beliefs, so that practitioners can guide clients to a lasting change in their lives. This magnificent technique can help with everything from anxiety, grief, phobias and pain management to parenting, self-image and weight loss. In fact you can use Matrix Reimprinting to help clients change what they believe about themselves and the world around them. If we can change our thoughts we can change anything.

Matrix reimprinting is based around the theory that everything is energy. To work with Matrix Reimprinting there are four concepts that you need to understand:

1.Everything is energy.

2.Energy is organised into fields of information (morphic fields).

3.Our subconscious mind is located in our personal field.

4.We can tune into those fields of information.

When we experience trauma then that trauma gets stored in the subconscious as an ECHO. Echos are Energetic Conscious Holograms. Using matrix reimprinting we can follow a clients energy or ‘feelings’ to guide them towards echos that are sitting in the energy field disrupting our natural flow of energy therefore causing symptoms. By finding these echos we can then guide the client to tap away the trauma using EFT and reframe the memory positively.

I hadn’t previously remembered anything about my accident. When we suffer from extreme trauma our subconscious often blocks things out as it believes that is the best way to protect us. I had always believed that if I was able to remember my accident it would be a good way of accessing and working with the trauma and I would be able to relieve some of my symptoms. I had tried this many times through using hypnosis but to no avail. So I knew this echo was sitting there, somewhere, constantly reliving that trauma and causing my symptoms. Luckily for me, much of the course was practical work where learners were able to work on each other. I had previously discussed with Karl Dawson about my accident and Tourettes symptoms and he had assured me he would do his upmost to try and work with me. The day before I was to be worked on, we had been learning about how and when we experience trauma, and that trauma can get stuck in our energy field and I had always believed I had the symptoms of trapped trauma. For example it was only ever my left arm that flung out. Was this because I was hit on my left hand side and that arm would have flown up into the air or even I may have thrown my arm up as a form of protection? The strange whimpering sounds I made…. Could that have been me lying on the road in pain? Ok I couldn’t explain the barking which had come along later but all I can think of is that a bark can be a dogs cry for help. Please don’t throw me a stick!

So we had spoken on the course about big trauma and little trauma and how it can get stuck in the body and how trauma can sometimes distort our belief systems and now Karl, along with my training partner Neil, was going to see if we could access my accident trauma to release the trauma from my body and reimprint positively.

Photograph of Hypnotherapist Brad Mace with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix reimprinting

Brad Mace (me)  with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix Reimprinting

Karl started off the proceedings by tapping on some of my EFT points and working with my energy using Matrix reimprinting techniques we had learnt. He didn’t take me directly to my accident straightaway, but cautiously guided me there indirectly. Exploring my feelings from my tourettes I was taken back to some previous trauma from my childhood that was also connected in the matrix as it was also an event that gave me the belief that the world was an unsafe place.  Then we followed the energy from there after Karl handed over the reigns to Neil and I was able to be taken not only to my accident but to the point of impact, and Neil worked with me to discharge the trauma from my body. Not only was the trauma discharged but Neil used matrix reimprinting techniques to reimprint this memory in a much more positive memory and change my belief around this memory that the world was not a safe place. I believe that this trauma in my body had been sitting there constantly in my energy field, reliving the event over and over again This session had been extremely powerful for me. I was dazed and drained for quite a while afterwards, but I also felt strangely at peace and liberated. This session took place on the last day of the course and I was to drive home afterwards. So after I had said my goodbyes and heartfelt thanks I started my drive home. I was feeling some sensation in my left arm like it was wanting to fling out but I was able to over ride it. I had no urges to make a noise but I did notice that my teeth were extremely clenched and I had a pain down the side of my face. I do believe that was trauma energy working itself out of my body.

It is now 10 weeks later and I can honestly report that I have hardly any symptoms at all and as time is going on they are getting less and less. From what I have learnt from this course I now realise that this is because the morphic field is getting weaker now that the trauma is released and I am no longer ticking. The less I practice this old habit the weaker that field will get and the habit will eventually completely disappear. My arm would fling out several times a day. It did it once last week and that came as quite a surprise as it hadn’t done it for ages. It also hasn’t done it since. There are no vocal tics. This is also without any further work. I should really be working on myself and I haven’t. If I was one of my clients I would be giving me a ticcing off! (pardon the pun). But to be honest I really haven’t felt a need to. Matrix reimprinting for me has been life changing. After 27 years living with a trapped trauma that was coming out in tics that were beyond my control I only wish that I had invested in this wonderful revolutionary technique earlier. I am now a fully qualified matrix reimprinting practitioner and already using this fantastic way of working with many of my clients and looking forward to using it much more in the future.

I do believe that my Tourette’s has been almost eradicated and is improving by the day, so who is to say that Matrix reimprinting couldn’t help others with Tourette’s? In fact I am now a firm believer that Matrix reimprinting could help with practically any negative symptoms.

When we change our energy field it also has an effect on everyone who comes into contact with us. We all know the difference of being around an energy field of someone who makes us feel positive and someone who makes us feel negative therefore draining us of our energy. We all owe it to ourselves to clear negative energy and trauma so that we can be able to live consciously without fear.

 

 

 

 

Caught in a bad romance? How to stop attracting negative relationships

A man and a woman shouting at each other and raising hands and clenching fists showing a bad relationships

Caught in a bad romance?

Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong partner into your life? Do you always end up in a toxic relationship? Do you see old relationship patterns repeating themselves?

One of the most common problems therapists deal with is a repeating pattern of dysfunctional relationships. The client’s partners share consistent similarities, such as physical and/or emotional abuse, unavailability, drug/alcohol, instability, Jealousy, narcissism, infidelity etc. And each relationship eventually ends badly because of these repetitive dynamics. After a while, such destructive patterns which often seem to be obvious to other people around them start to become apparent even to the client. And the therapeutic question becomes: Why would anyone persist in pursuing relationships that are doomed to failure? What’s going on here?

There are various reasons that this could be happening. Sometimes this can be due to a fear of intimacy with the opposite sex so we sabotage the relationship by pushing a partner away.

However, more often than not, there is a neurotic defense mechanism afoot that Freud called a ‘repetition compulsion’. This is a neurotic defense mechanism and this is how it works. It is typically an attempt to rewrite history. Particularly troubled relationships with parents, more often than not being the opposite sex parent. If this pattern matches in a current relationship the client has the subconscious childish hope that if he/she can be good, perfect, smart, quiet, funny enough etc then we can win over mum and dad and they will finally love them, as they need them to, unconditionally. The subconscious mistakenly believes that the problem with the parental interaction resides with them. With that the client believes they have the power to rectify it in changing into someone more acceptable. The most common argument I get from a client in this position is “It’s me. I am in the wrong. None of my relationships work.” So that client always hold onto the hope of being able to change the parents response by becoming what he or she wants us to become to ward off abandonment depression. Only now it is not a parent but the partner that the client is trying to please. This can often lead the client into a controlling relationship. So the client tends to repeat patterns of falling in love or getting involved with a partner that can cause them many difficulties. It’s a blind spot and no one would consciously choose this but this is a subconscious process at play and is a very powerful repetition if those negative subconscious repressed emotions are not released.

Sometimes clients have also become almost addicted to the drama of these events. It can become a subconscious way  to get any attention. This can also be very destructive. They also persevere with the relationship because they think they can fix their partner and force them to change. The believe that if they can change them that will make them a more worthy partner. They become rescuers but this can often be futile. In some cases it can just be a fear of being alone or low self worth hence choosing to opt for just anyone that will give them their time.

Hypnotherapy and EFT can help make change to these negative relationship habits  by releasing those repressed emotions and breaking the pattern that keeps re-occurring in the client’s life. By releasing those repressed emotions and changing thought processes we can help change the type of relationships that they have been attracting and guide them towards a more emotionally healthy and happy life.

Life is too short to be stuck in the wrong relationship and if our relationships are not in check then negative emotions can cause us so much stress and negative symptoms. This can cause us both mental and physical illness. Take control of your life now, you know it makes sense. 🙂

 

Believe!

 

A person holding their hands in the air in triumph on a beach with the sea and a sunset in the background with the word believe at the top.

If you are not expecting it, you are not allowing it to happen

Your belief system brings into your life what you want to happen. If your beliefs are strong enough then what you believe will probably happen. If you believe everything in your life is bad then it is likely that you are going to bring bad events into your life. If you are optimistic and believe that good things are going to happen then that is what you are going to attract into your life. Simple? Yes and no. Sometimes because of negative events that have happened in our past it does sometimes take some retraining of our minds. And also remember that our minds and emotions are connected. So, if we are going to desire good things into our lives then remember each emotion indicates how much energy you are summoning. Your predominant thoughts and beliefs that you currently hold are all relative to your desire.

We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. If you look back through your own life you may notice how often you have gone through the same experience.

If you are feeling a very strong emotion, wether positive or negative, that means that your desire is powerfully focused and you are summoning a great deal of energy towards your desire. So, when your emotions feel bad, like depression, fear or anger, that means that you are offering a lot of resistance to your true desire. When your emotions are strong and feel really good , like enthusiasm, passion, positivity, expectation or love, that means that you are not offering out any resistance to that which you desire so the energy that you have summoned through what you desire is not being challenged vibrationally by yourself and you are then currently allowing the things that you desire to come into your life.

So it seems to be an obvious rule that the perfect situation to create and allow into your life what you desire is to really, really want something that you believe is possible. When that combination of both desire and belief is present within you all those things will quickly unfold into your life.

BUT when you want something that you do not believe is possible, when you have that desire but you do not expect it, it will not easily unfold into your life. Hypnotherapy and EFT can be fantastic tools to eradicate negative thoughts and feelings and make your belief system so much more positive!

Believe and Expect and the universe will answer your call……………..

Keeping on that positive vibe……..

Keeping on that positive vibe

Everyone has bad days from time to time. Although we all tend to want to be positive there are often over riding factors. We are all human after all and there is no such thing as a perfect life. For whatever reason challenges are often sent our way but it is how we choose to react to those challenges that determines our mindset. I’m often asked what we can do to keep our energy positive so here are a few ideas.

Express gratitude – When negative events or people have an effect on your life it is always important to remember all the good things that you do have to balance this out. Try at least once a week to reflect on what you are grateful for and why. You may want to write down all the positive things about your career, your love or family and friends that support you. Remember a really good or positive event from your life and concentrate on how that makes you feel.

Meditation – Sometimes we need to let go of over whelming thoughts and clear our minds of clutter. Deep breathing exercise and relaxing music can help with this. Also repeating positive affirmations can be a great help as this can help train your mind to believe the affirmation and guide you towards your positive goal. Click here to see my blog on meditation.

Challenge your negative thoughts – Whenever negative thoughts come into our minds we can choose how we respond to them. It’s easy for our minds to tend to dwell on negative events which can end up magnifying things far bigger than they really are. Try interpreting these things differently. For example your car won’t start in the morning. Instead of thinking ‘I’m rubbish, everything goes wrong for me’ try thinking ‘It’s good that this has happened now and I haven’t been left stranded on a motorway.’ Anyone that has had cognitive behavioural therapy will know that this involves keeping a thought and feelings diary. This helps to bring negativity into a real perspective and we are able to reframe these thoughts and feeling much more positively. This is all about re-training the mind and although it might not happen overnight this is something that with practice will start coming to you more naturally.

Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT is a really good tool for confronting our negative feelings until we can bring the feeling down and then re-framing positively. This is done by tapping on acupuncture points alongside affirmation like suggestion. For more about emotional freedom technique please click here.

First Blog Of The New Year – Preventing Heated Arguments

Two people pulling on each end of a gold chain with a sign in the middle of the chain saing 'Why I'm Right'

Happy New Year everyone and welcome to my first blog of 2017. Sorry that it’s been a bit delayed but things have been busy here at positivelycalm. I hope we all had good Christmas and New Year celebrations. Did everyone got through it in one piece without too many arguments?;-) I say this because it can be a stressful time for some people and along with too much alcohol sometimes things get heated. We have all heard of the famous Christmas argument. Well with many people making new years resolutions concerning quitting bad habits and weight loss how about a resolution to keep calm and stop arguing? It doesn’t have to be the start of a new year to make a resolution; we can make change at any time. I always find arguing such a waste of energy. After all what is arguing? It is just difference of opinion and wouldn’t the world be a boring place if we all thought the same? Our opinions come from our different backgrounds and experiences which colour our thoughts and judgments in later life so, of course, we can’t all have the same ideas. And discussing things calmly is a fantastic way of learning from each other but when things get heated or aggressive then that is when it becomes an argument. And what is the best way to lose an argument? Exactly that! Getting aggressive really takes away all credibility.
So what is an argument? A dictionary definition of an argument is as follows:
1. Give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view.
2. Exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.
So yes it is great to debate things but when people start getting upset or angry it can cause a bad atmosphere and bad feeling. How can we avoid this?
First of all listen! Just by showing the other person that you are taking into account what they are saying will make them feel better. It doesn’t mean that you have to agree to what they are saying.
Display open body language. Crossing your arms or turning away from a person is an aggressive gesture that is just going to aggravate the person that you are conversing with.
Try not to raise your voice. Keep it on an even level. There is a big difference between argumentative and assertive behaviour. It is much better to be assertive and get your point across without losing your temper.
If you feel yourself getting angry then talk about your feelings. It’s much better to discharge them by speaking before you get angry otherwise that leads to frustration. If you can both consciously take five minutes each at the beginning to talk about your feelings this can really help keep your anger down.
Don’t make threats. This is a very weak way of trying to convince someone to understand you.
Don’t bring up negative feelings that the other person may have done in the past. Try to calmly concentrate on the matter in hand.
Abuse is never acceptable. This includes verbal or physical abuse. If the discussion/argument reaches this point then walk away.
Don’t be goaded into an argument. Even negative attention is attention for some people. Some people actually do like to argue because it gives them a sense of power or gratification albeit temporary. Avoid getting sucked into their need for attention.
Listen to your body. When you are angry your body releases chemicals that may cause you to react in ways that can be destructive to you. Learn to understand your feelings and how the process of anger affects you physically and emotionally.
Sometimes if you start feeling negative feelings in your body from arguing you need to step back and take a deep breath and think about what you are saying. Our subconscious will always jump in before our conscious so a great deal of the time when you are having an argument you end up saying something that just makes the argument ten times worse before you have even had a chance to think about it.
If you are finding avoiding arguing hard that is where Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique can help. No one really wants to walk around with these negative feelings and often we don’t have any idea why we are feeling them because they spring from repressed negative feelings in the subconcious. Working with a trained therapist can bring these negative feelings out and take a huge weight off your shoulders. Anger management is a big part of my client base here at positivelycalm where I provide a top class Hypnotherapy service in Essex.
For further information do not hesitate to contact me on 07795573280 or complete this contact form.
Wishing you all a positively calm and argument free New Year!

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