Tag: <span>psychotherapy</span>

The Power Of Matrix Reimprinting

A picture of some DNA with a outer space background and the words Matrix Reimprinting

 

Anyone who knows me socially knows that for the past 27 years I have been suffering from Tourette’s syndrome. Or, as the doctors preferred to say, Tourette’s like symptoms. This is because it is only recognised that Tourette’s sufferers usually start getting their symptoms in their formative years. It is not recognised that, as in my case, you can start getting Tourette’s symptoms at the age of 19. Before this time I had no history of tics. When I was 19 I was involved in a serious hit and run accident. Being hit at between 60 and 70 mph and being left for dead in the road I was completely unconscious and my femur had been shattered and I had a severe head injury. Although I recovered well and learnt to walk again I was left with some vocal and physical tics. I used to make some strange guttural sounds, my left arm used to fling out of its own accord and I was also known to bark! My accident and recovery had a lot to do with what lead me towards a healing profession and using the power of the mind to heal ourselves.

Although my Tourette’s symptoms were quite mild compared to many Tourette’s sufferers it has been very hard at times living with tics that were out of my control. Although I developed many coping mechanisms over the years it did still at times, knock my confidence. After brain scans and neurologists looking into my problem the only treatment they could come up with were prescribed drugs to soften the symptoms due to their diagnosis of a ‘chemical imbalance’ in the brain. I took these for about two weeks,(very many years ago) and never took them again as they seemed to also soften all my senses. Psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi once described a tic as “An over-strong memory fixation on the attitude of the body at the moment of……trauma”. Tics are believed to be old memories from a trauma that was not resolved. The roots of traumatisation can be described as a threat to survival in the face of helplessness which leads to the fight/flight/freeze response. I’ve always believed there was a ‘part’ of me still stuck in that fight/flight/freeze response.

I have been a fully qualified hypnotherapist and psychotherapist for the past 16 years and a member of the association for professional hypnosis and psychotherapy which is my governing body for which I have to follow a code of ethics, one of these being updating my skills and knowledge every year. Over the years I have learnt some great techniques to teach my clients, as well as to use on my own Tourette’s symptoms. Luckily I was able to overcome any tics whilst working with clients. I believe this was mainly due to being so focussed on said client.  Several years ago I qualified in EFT (emotional freedom technique otherwise known as tapping) and it was very good for helping to relieve some of my Tourette’s symptoms. I could use EFT to somewhat lessen my public display of Tourette’s, however the urges to tic were still there and most of the time still not controllable, requiring a lot of effort and concentration. Having gone as high as level 3 with EFT I had been toying with the idea for a few years of attending a course on EFT Matrix reimprinting. I had read a lot about this evolutionary technique developed by Karl Dawson who is one of only 29 EFT masters worldwide and author of Matrix Reimprinting using EFT and Transform your beliefs, transform your life. My symptoms earlier this year had seemed to be getting worse and I was finding it was taking much more energy to focus. Anyone who has suffered from tics will tell you that it is very tiring concentrating all the time on trying not to do something! So in June this year I took the plunge and got myself booked on a matrix reimprinting course in Brighton which Karl Dawson himself was teaching. Little was I to know that the days spent on this course was about to change my life.

Matrix Reimprinting is a powerful technique that uses EFT to resolve traumas from our past focussing on core beliefs, so that practitioners can guide clients to a lasting change in their lives. This magnificent technique can help with everything from anxiety, grief, phobias and pain management to parenting, self-image and weight loss. In fact you can use Matrix Reimprinting to help clients change what they believe about themselves and the world around them. If we can change our thoughts we can change anything.

Matrix reimprinting is based around the theory that everything is energy. To work with Matrix Reimprinting there are four concepts that you need to understand:

1.Everything is energy.

2.Energy is organised into fields of information (morphic fields).

3.Our subconscious mind is located in our personal field.

4.We can tune into those fields of information.

When we experience trauma then that trauma gets stored in the subconscious as an ECHO. Echos are Energetic Conscious Holograms. Using matrix reimprinting we can follow a clients energy or ‘feelings’ to guide them towards echos that are sitting in the energy field disrupting our natural flow of energy therefore causing symptoms. By finding these echos we can then guide the client to tap away the trauma using EFT and reframe the memory positively.

I hadn’t previously remembered anything about my accident. When we suffer from extreme trauma our subconscious often blocks things out as it believes that is the best way to protect us. I had always believed that if I was able to remember my accident it would be a good way of accessing and working with the trauma and I would be able to relieve some of my symptoms. I had tried this many times through using hypnosis but to no avail. So I knew this echo was sitting there, somewhere, constantly reliving that trauma and causing my symptoms. Luckily for me, much of the course was practical work where learners were able to work on each other. I had previously discussed with Karl Dawson about my accident and Tourettes symptoms and he had assured me he would do his upmost to try and work with me. The day before I was to be worked on, we had been learning about how and when we experience trauma, and that trauma can get stuck in our energy field and I had always believed I had the symptoms of trapped trauma. For example it was only ever my left arm that flung out. Was this because I was hit on my left hand side and that arm would have flown up into the air or even I may have thrown my arm up as a form of protection? The strange whimpering sounds I made…. Could that have been me lying on the road in pain? Ok I couldn’t explain the barking which had come along later but all I can think of is that a bark can be a dogs cry for help. Please don’t throw me a stick!

So we had spoken on the course about big trauma and little trauma and how it can get stuck in the body and how trauma can sometimes distort our belief systems and now Karl, along with my training partner Neil, was going to see if we could access my accident trauma to release the trauma from my body and reimprint positively.

Photograph of Hypnotherapist Brad Mace with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix reimprinting

Brad Mace (me)  with Karl Dawson the creator of Matrix Reimprinting

Karl started off the proceedings by tapping on some of my EFT points and working with my energy using Matrix reimprinting techniques we had learnt. He didn’t take me directly to my accident straightaway, but cautiously guided me there indirectly. Exploring my feelings from my tourettes I was taken back to some previous trauma from my childhood that was also connected in the matrix as it was also an event that gave me the belief that the world was an unsafe place.  Then we followed the energy from there after Karl handed over the reigns to Neil and I was able to be taken not only to my accident but to the point of impact, and Neil worked with me to discharge the trauma from my body. Not only was the trauma discharged but Neil used matrix reimprinting techniques to reimprint this memory in a much more positive memory and change my belief around this memory that the world was not a safe place. I believe that this trauma in my body had been sitting there constantly in my energy field, reliving the event over and over again This session had been extremely powerful for me. I was dazed and drained for quite a while afterwards, but I also felt strangely at peace and liberated. This session took place on the last day of the course and I was to drive home afterwards. So after I had said my goodbyes and heartfelt thanks I started my drive home. I was feeling some sensation in my left arm like it was wanting to fling out but I was able to over ride it. I had no urges to make a noise but I did notice that my teeth were extremely clenched and I had a pain down the side of my face. I do believe that was trauma energy working itself out of my body.

It is now 10 weeks later and I can honestly report that I have hardly any symptoms at all and as time is going on they are getting less and less. From what I have learnt from this course I now realise that this is because the morphic field is getting weaker now that the trauma is released and I am no longer ticking. The less I practice this old habit the weaker that field will get and the habit will eventually completely disappear. My arm would fling out several times a day. It did it once last week and that came as quite a surprise as it hadn’t done it for ages. It also hasn’t done it since. There are no vocal tics. This is also without any further work. I should really be working on myself and I haven’t. If I was one of my clients I would be giving me a ticcing off! (pardon the pun). But to be honest I really haven’t felt a need to. Matrix reimprinting for me has been life changing. After 27 years living with a trapped trauma that was coming out in tics that were beyond my control I only wish that I had invested in this wonderful revolutionary technique earlier. I am now a fully qualified matrix reimprinting practitioner and already using this fantastic way of working with many of my clients and looking forward to using it much more in the future.

I do believe that my Tourette’s has been almost eradicated and is improving by the day, so who is to say that Matrix reimprinting couldn’t help others with Tourette’s? In fact I am now a firm believer that Matrix reimprinting could help with practically any negative symptoms.

When we change our energy field it also has an effect on everyone who comes into contact with us. We all know the difference of being around an energy field of someone who makes us feel positive and someone who makes us feel negative therefore draining us of our energy. We all owe it to ourselves to clear negative energy and trauma so that we can be able to live consciously without fear.

 

 

 

 

Take Control Of Your Life!

A picture of a person picking up a large control key from a keyboard and holding it over their head and walking away from the keyboard with the words 'taking control' at the top of the pictureDo you ever feel out of control of your life? Your all powerful subconscious mind that runs in the background and over rides all conscious thought is an amazing tool if used correctly and the key to taking control of your life. Your subconscious mind controls all the vital processes of your body and knows the answers to all problems. One way of proving this to yourself is to, before sleep, turn over a specific request to your subconscious mind. The more you practice this then the more your belief system will take this request on board as a truth and begin to make it a reality. This is why it is so important to carefully watch all ideas and thoughts entertained in the conscious mind. The law of action and reaction is universal. Your thought is action, and the reaction is the automatic response of your subconscious mind to your thoughts. Watch your thoughts!

When we feel frustration it is due to unfulfilled desires so if you dwell on obstacles, delays and difficulties your subconscious mind will respond accordingly and you are blocking your own good. Affirmations can be a really effective way of re-programming the subconscious mind to steer it towards more positive goals.

You already know that you can interfere with the normal rhythm on your heart, lungs and other organs by worry, anxiety and fear so if you feed your subconscious with thoughts of harmony, health, and peace all the functions of your body will become normal again.

Keep your conscious mind busy with the expectation of the best, and your subconscious will faithfully reproduce your habitual thinking.

IMAGINE the happy ending or solution to your problems, feel the thrill of accomplishments and what you imagine and feel will be accepted by your subconscious mind. Our imagination is such a powerful tool and by training it in a positive way it can bring so many positive attributes to our lives.

Another way of re-training our subconscious mind is through the power of hypnosis. Using hypnotherapy we can remove negative blocks that are getting in the way of our goals. Hypno-analysis is a very good tool for weeding out any negative thoughts by removing undesired emotional attachments to negative memories then by re-framing the mind and adding some positive suggestion to the subconscious through hypnosis this frees your mind to move towards your positive outcome.

Things to remember:

  • Get rid of the negative thinking – No longer think and believe that you can’t. Negative thoughts lead to negative beliefs, which create more misery. So get rid of these negative thoughts as quickly as possible. If you entertain more negative thoughts you’ll be directing your subconscious mind to create more negative situations. You’ll be using your mind power to bring you more pain.
  • Visualize – Picture yourself getting what you want and succeeding. Always believe that you can and will succeed. Mind power relies on your thoughts, beliefs and how you see yourself. Make them all positive and your subconscious mind will deliver.

 

  • Never give up – Most people give up on their goals just when they’re on the verge of succeeding. You’re closer to succeeding than you realize so keep striving to achieve the success you want and keep believing in yourself.

 

Your subconscious can work for you like MAGIC!  So use it wisely. For more information of mind related matters please contact me here.

 

 

A Christmas Stress Buster!

A picture of a woman with her mouth wide open like a scream wearing a santa hat surrounded by wrapped presents with the word help on the left

 

Even though tis the season to be jolly, for some people this puts on an added pressure to show an outward happiness that, for whatever reason, one does not feel inside. This can compound negative feelings and make a person feel even more isolated, especially if there has been increased stress, tragedy or bereavement in a persons life. Sometimes the stress can be simply having to welcome unwanted guests or unwanted demands on top of our normal everyday life such as extra shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining to name just a few but this all adds to Christmas stress.

Using just a few practical tips these could help you enjoy the Christmas season more than you thought and minimize any stress. So here goes……

  1. Acknowledge and accept your feelings. If your loved ones are absent or if a loved one has recently died it’s OK to cry and let your feelings out. Don’t try and force yourself to be happy just because it is Christmas. This will just put unwanted pressure on yourself and make yourself feel worse.

 

  1. Contact that friend! If you are feeling lonely or isolated then try and reach out and speak to someone. If there isn’t anyone you know that you can speak to then try not to isolate yourself and seek out some community events. Volunteering is a good way to keep yourself occupied taking your mind of stressful thoughts and this is also a good way of meeting new people. This can generate some feel good positive thinking because you are giving something back to society. Just remember extra volunteers are always extra volunteers needed at Christmas time, especially in soup kitchens and homeless shelters.

 

 

  1. Forget Perfection! Be realistic with yourself. Christmas does not have to be the perfect day and does not have to be the same as last year and previous happy Christmases. Things do change, people move away, children may branch out with their own friends and their new families and therefore traditions can alter and change. People who previously made up your festival group festivities including children, friends and family circumstances may have changed so they may not be able to be with you over the Christmas period. You can find other ways of celebrating together. A phone call, skype or sharing videos and photos. No-one needs to be isolated with the way communication is these days.

 

  1. Forget your differences. Set aside any grievances or grudges until a more appropriate time for discussion to avoid any negativity on the day. Try to be understanding if others get disappointed or upset if things don’t quite go the way that they were planned. Remember as the year is drawing to an end instinctively we reflect on the past twelve months and there is a risk, especially with the festive alcohol that negative memories may come to the forefront of our minds.

 

 

  1. Don’t overspend. When you go shopping set a budget and stick to it. Don’t spend over your means as this just creates unwanted stress that could last throughout the year.

 

  1. Set a plan and stick to it! Try and schedule your days leading up to Christmas so that you know when you are shopping, baking , cleaning etc….. Plan your menus so that you know exactly how much food that you are buying and stick to the shopping list. Do not be tempted to over buy, you will only be throwing it away.

 

 

  1. Exercise. Try and get some exercise and fresh air. Even if it means just going for a walk to clear your head. If you already do regular exercise then don’t abandon your normal routine completely. Try and fit in as much exercise as you can to keep you tip top and this will also help you get a good quality nights sleep to help you recharge your batteries for the next day.

 

  1. Take time out. Don’t be afraid to go to a quiet room for a while and try a five minute meditation, you will find this may also help you to recharge and give clarity of mind. Emotional Freedom Technique is also very good for relieving stress and bringing down and taking control of anxious and overwhelming feelings. It’s also a good tool for letting negative feelings out, letting go of them and replacing them with positive ones. See a basic EFT instruction video here.

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are finding Christmas preparations too demanding then don’t be afraid to ask for help! Those involved in your Christmas preparation and festivities will also feel much happier that they are able to contribute to your celebrations. Trying to deliver the whole of Christmas by yourself may become too overwhelming and unmanageable.

 

  1. Help is out there! If you continue to have stressful feelings or your emotions are escalating to the point where you just cannot cope then you may seek professional help or if it is an acute emotional crisis a sympathetic ear is always available at the Samaritans.

 

 

I hope that these tips help you to get through the holiday period and relieves any possible Christmas stress and  you all have a fantastic time. Remember be positive, keep calm, and, most of all, HAVE FUN!!!!!

 

Caught in a bad romance? How to stop attracting negative relationships

A man and a woman shouting at each other and raising hands and clenching fists showing a bad relationships

Caught in a bad romance?

Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong partner into your life? Do you always end up in a toxic relationship? Do you see old relationship patterns repeating themselves?

One of the most common problems therapists deal with is a repeating pattern of dysfunctional relationships. The client’s partners share consistent similarities, such as physical and/or emotional abuse, unavailability, drug/alcohol, instability, Jealousy, narcissism, infidelity etc. And each relationship eventually ends badly because of these repetitive dynamics. After a while, such destructive patterns which often seem to be obvious to other people around them start to become apparent even to the client. And the therapeutic question becomes: Why would anyone persist in pursuing relationships that are doomed to failure? What’s going on here?

There are various reasons that this could be happening. Sometimes this can be due to a fear of intimacy with the opposite sex so we sabotage the relationship by pushing a partner away.

However, more often than not, there is a neurotic defense mechanism afoot that Freud called a ‘repetition compulsion’. This is a neurotic defense mechanism and this is how it works. It is typically an attempt to rewrite history. Particularly troubled relationships with parents, more often than not being the opposite sex parent. If this pattern matches in a current relationship the client has the subconscious childish hope that if he/she can be good, perfect, smart, quiet, funny enough etc then we can win over mum and dad and they will finally love them, as they need them to, unconditionally. The subconscious mistakenly believes that the problem with the parental interaction resides with them. With that the client believes they have the power to rectify it in changing into someone more acceptable. The most common argument I get from a client in this position is “It’s me. I am in the wrong. None of my relationships work.” So that client always hold onto the hope of being able to change the parents response by becoming what he or she wants us to become to ward off abandonment depression. Only now it is not a parent but the partner that the client is trying to please. This can often lead the client into a controlling relationship. So the client tends to repeat patterns of falling in love or getting involved with a partner that can cause them many difficulties. It’s a blind spot and no one would consciously choose this but this is a subconscious process at play and is a very powerful repetition if those negative subconscious repressed emotions are not released.

Sometimes clients have also become almost addicted to the drama of these events. It can become a subconscious way  to get any attention. This can also be very destructive. They also persevere with the relationship because they think they can fix their partner and force them to change. The believe that if they can change them that will make them a more worthy partner. They become rescuers but this can often be futile. In some cases it can just be a fear of being alone or low self worth hence choosing to opt for just anyone that will give them their time.

Hypnotherapy and EFT can help make change to these negative relationship habits  by releasing those repressed emotions and breaking the pattern that keeps re-occurring in the client’s life. By releasing those repressed emotions and changing thought processes we can help change the type of relationships that they have been attracting and guide them towards a more emotionally healthy and happy life.

Life is too short to be stuck in the wrong relationship and if our relationships are not in check then negative emotions can cause us so much stress and negative symptoms. This can cause us both mental and physical illness. Take control of your life now, you know it makes sense. 🙂

 

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

A man climbing up the side of a rock with the words "never give up on youself"

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

Hello there everyone. I really hope that you are enjoying the summer! It’s so nice to get outside more often, have longer days and some nice healthy walks in the fresh air. I do apologise that I haven’t blogged for a few weeks but things here at Positivelycalm therapy have been busy busy busy!!

I’ve chosen to speak this week about the importance of sticking with therapy. One of the most disappointing aspects of any therapy practice is when a client quits therapy before it is complete. Although this doesn’t happen often there can be several reasons for this but the most common, especially when a client is going through analysis, is when a client is having difficulty coping with discharging negative feelings. Of course there are some problems that can be treated just with one or two sessions such as quit smoking but many symptoms require  full analysis. Every therapist would love to be able  wave a magic wand and make those negative feelings disappear straight away and if we could do it that quick I’m sure we would all be millionaires. The truth of the matter is that we do have to face up to these negative feelings before we can release them. To do this we have to relive or re-feel them in order for our subconscious and conscious adult minds to make sense of them to let them go. Therapy guides us to face up to those negative feelings buried in our subconscious but facing up to them and re living them as an adult is the most sure fire way of having an understanding of them and letting them go. During your therapy, over the weeks, there are moments when you can feel really good and this is an indication of how you shall feel once therapy had been completed. Not everyone’s therapy experience is the same and no one should be treated as a text book case as we are certainly all individuals. Some people start feeling better straightaway or after one or two sessions. Some people take longer and sometimes people are just very up and down throughout their therapy experience. These feelings are quite natural and all I can advise is not to give up and just ride the wave until the end. Therapy is very much a journey. It has its ups and downs but the destination is fantastic!

Another reason people may give up on therapy is that they just don’t believe that they are getting anywhere quick enough. They may have known someone who has had therapy and been better in two sessions yet they have had six sessions and are not yet anywhere near where they want to be feeling. Again we are all different. Our mind-sets and the way we all see things are different and our reactions to things are not all the same. Also some people’s problems are much more deep rooted than others. Any therapist would not be seeing you if they didn’t think that they would be able to help you and that is why I offer a free initial consultation so that I can ascertain wether I can be the best help for the particular problem  and the route of therapy to go down. If I don’t believe that I would be the best possible therapist for the particular problem then it is my duty to point you in the right direction and maybe towards a therapist who specialises in the particular area that you may need help. So, a therapist wouldn’t be seeing you if he/she didn’t think there could be an improvement. Some people just take longer than others. Some people take longer to subconsciously process things depending on how deep rooted the particular problem is and there are people that just need different therapy strategies and coping mechanism where there are some that alleviate their problem with one therapy which could also be alleviated in fewer sessions. SO DON’T GIVE UP!  Everyone deserves to feel good and not to carry around negativity. Don’t accept that’s just the way you are. We were not born negative. We can all change and we all deserve to change it’s just some people improve quicker than others. Please don’t give up because YOU ARE WORTH IT! 😉

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