Category: Therapy

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

A man flying in the clouds with an ipad attached to his chest looking panicked.

Fear of flying. Plane stupid?

Hello again everyone. Welcome to my latest blog about fear of flying. I apologise for there not being a blog for the last couple of weeks but this is due to me taking a much needed holiday. I always choose to go away somewhere nice and warm as it is coming to the end of winter here. It’s nice to soak up the sun after the many months of early darkness and dreary grey days knowing that on my return home that it is nearly spring and the days are getting longer and the sun is beginning to shine much more warming us both physically and mentally. Sometimes it’s not until you actually go away that you realise how much the rest is needed. While I was away it got me thinking about people that have a phobia of flying (aviophobia) and how awful it must be not to be able to just escape to another country when they feel like it. The interesting concept of phobias is that there is not normally a rational fear behind them. Even if the fear doesn’t actually prevent a person from travelling anywhere it can greatly impair their enjoyment of the journey. We all know that flying is actually one of the safest forms of transport but many still hold a fear which is out of their control. So, what can they do about it?  After all there is far greater risk, statistically, of being kicked to death by a donkey than dying in a plane crash.

I have had a very high success rate with fear of flying using a combination of Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is a great self-help tool that can be used to bring down any anxiety about flying and the beneficial aspect of this therapy is that, once learned, it can be used anywhere. On the way to the airport, at the airport or sitting on a plane. That is the wonder of emotional freedom technique. I would, however, look deeper into the root cause of the problem to help clear the phobia using hypnotherapy. In my experience the majority of the time it’s because of one issue – CONTROL. People feel out of control in a plane. The average person does not have is a great understanding of how planes work and what the noises are that they hear and where there is a lack of understanding people feel out of control with many not able to put their trust in a pilot that they don’t know and a machine that they don’t understand. If a client feels out of control in their life then this problem will just be exacerbated. This may not  necessarily mean that the client is feeling out of control presently but using hypno-analysis we can look into the past and find out the originating cause of the phobia. This may not necessarily even have anything to do with flying or planes but may just simply be a control issue or a deeper set condition.

I once had a client, many years ago, that had never flown and even if she saw a plane flying overhead she would duck in panic! Hypnosis regressed her to eight years old where she remembered watching a news report about a plane that crashed onto a motorway. This had made the news as it was such a rare occurrence but the fear of seeing that at her young age was repressed into the subconscious causing her phobia. Reliving this event as an adult helped release the negative emotion stuck in the subconscious and we used some suggestion therapy for another couple of sessions re-framing any negative thoughts related to flying. She wrote to me after, happily informing me she had taken a short flight and actually enjoyed it and had booked a much longer flight for her honeymoon.

So, what should you do and not do should you suffer from fear of flying?

  • Don’t avoid flying. It is a treatable problem. Fears and phobias have one of the highest success rates for treatment of psychological problems. We tend to make ourselves feel safer by avoiding things but we truly grow by stepping outside our comfort zone.
  • Think about the destination you are going to. Really focus on all the positive things about being there.
  • Challenge any negative thoughts. There is a big difference between discomfort and danger. Think about your triggers. If turbulence is a trigger, for example, think about it logically. ‘Ok I might spill my drink but the plane isn’t going to fall apart.”
  • Learn some relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises, meditation and of course emotional freedom technique will all help. Reading is also a very good distraction or listening to music.
  • Keep hydrated. Try to avoid alcohol and drugs. Before and during the flight, it’s important to keep blood sugar levels up. Stick to water and juices to keep hydrated and remember to eat little and often to maintain your energy, which can help control anxiety levels. Rest if you can, though sleep is not essential.

To learn more and for further support with any of these issues please contact me for a free initial consultation.

Happy Holidays! 😉

Having a bad day? What can you do?

Having a bad day? What can you do about it?

A sign with a flower in the background that says "It's just a bad day, not  bad life"

Hello everyone and thank you for taking a look at my latest blog. It’s a funny time of year as there is a sense that we are coming to the end of winter and soon the greyness will be going out of our lives. We have had a couple of days of sunshine which gives us a real indication of what is to come and it’s suprising what a positive effect that this can have on our feelings. I happen to like all seasons. I love the sunshine and warmth and that in the summer we can do so much more outside. I also love the cosiness of winter and curling up in front of the fire on a cold night and watching a nice film or becoming engrossed in a good book. I love it when Spring arrives and the garden starts coming alive again and I love the beautifully natural colours of autumn. But whatever time of the year it is we can all have bad days. Even the most minor of things can trigger a bad day. A falling out with a friend, getting stuck in traffic making you late for work or even just, as the cliché goes, getting out the wrong side of bed. Just one unkind or critical word from someone can put you in a bad mood and onto a negative vibe. Even I am not immune to this and have to check myself sometimes to get myself back onto a positive  vibe. We all know that one negative comment can make all the energy drain from your body. So what can we do about this?  What tools can we use combat negativity and get us back onto a positive vibe?

Sometimes just getting back to nature can help raise your vibration. A walk in the park or local forest. Breathing in the fresh air and reflecting on things. Even walking on the grass in bare feet can be very grounding.

If you are feeling low it’s always a good idea not to go onto social media. Looking at other peoples lives can sometimes give us a feeling of inadequacy if things aren’t feeling right in our own lives. There are a lot of positive benefits to social media but not always when we are feeling down. I do also believe that all these wifi networks and different radio frequencies  traveling through our air waves are taking us away from natural energies.

Exercise is always good to make us feel positive wether it is going for a run, going to the gym or partaking in our favourite sport, bike rides or an exercise class. All these things stimulate blood flow and let off our endorphins which are our natural feel good hormone.

Another good technique is to put onto paper what is bothering you. I would recommend to do this by hand and not just type onto a computer because I believe there is a much more powerful discharge of emotion by putting pen to paper. If it’s someone who has bothered you then maybe write them a letter. You don’t have to send it to them. You can burn it after. You can also burn anything written about what is bothering you in your own life. It’s a good way to get negative feelings off your chest. LET IT GO! Once you have done this you can write a list of all the positive things in your life that you are so grateful for.

Meditation is  great for relieving stress and reducing our anxiety. Deep breathing exercises and positive visualisation will help stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, quieting down your stress response.

Any of you animal lovers spend time with your pets! Petting or stroking an animal can have such positive and soothing effects on us. If you haven’t got a pet but like animals then visit someone who has or even go to a local petting farm.

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!!  I think hugs solve so many things. As humans we are becoming so detached from each other. I know some people that stay in the same room and exchange words on social networks or even texts!   If you are feeling down grab your partner, a close friend or a family member and share a loving hug with them. It is amazing how much better you will feel.

Book something to look forward to. Wether it is a holiday, a weekend away or even a theatre show or a visit to a faraway friend that you have not seen in a long time. Make that positive move and have something exciting to feel excited about in your future.

Listen to your favourite music! Listening to music can really alter your mood and help to alleviate depression. It could be a good idea to make a feelgood playlist for you mp3 player or phone. Put in it all the songs that make you feel good!

If I am feeling particularly negative I take a shower!  I imagine that the water is washing all the negativity off me and disposing of it down the drain. I find this to be very effective. Also you can alternate the hot and cold tap to help increase your circulation and get rid of negative energy.

Another good idea is to watch a funny comedy even if it is something that you have seen before. If you can laugh then I believe that is the greatest form of therapy anybody can have. Sometimes just watching a few funny you tube clips can help lift your spirits.

If all else fails then learn Emotional Freedom Technique. I do believe this to be such a positive tool and you can see a video of me teaching the basic recipe to learn this fantastic tool here.

If these bad days are getting more often than not then I offer a kind and confidential therapy service including Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique in Essex. For information on this please complete this contact form here or contact me on 01702 233323 or 07795573280.

I hope that you have  found some of this information useful and I hope that you all have a fantastic and positively Calm week !




Therapy is a journey – Don’t give up!

A sunset over clouds with the words dont give up

One of the most frustrating things for all therapists has to be when clients give up on therapy so easily. Many clients want a quick fix and for you to be able to wave a magic wand and make them better – Just like that! Although stage hypnosis does give the impression that this is possible it really isn’t quite like that. What hypnotherapy can do though is help you get better more quickly than with just talking therapies. The reason for this is that we are working with the subconscious. When you are working with just talking therapies it can take a lot longer to get down to a subconscious process. By using hypnosis we can bypass the conscious and get straight to the root cause or emotional repression that is causing a particular symptom. This still isn’t necessarily going to happen overnight though. Some things are quick to fix. Quit smoking can usually be dealt with in one two hour session. But for many emotional and anxiety problems we are looking at several sessions. And therapy can be TOUGH! Much of the time we are dealing with negative emotions that have been suppressed in the subconscious for so long that we have to relive those emotions to release them. I am quite happy when there is a client crying in the chair not because I am a wicked person that likes to see pain but because I know that emotion is being released and that very release is going to help my client get better.

However, it is not always the case that you have to get worse before you get better. In some clients cases they start feeling better after just one session and for others its two or three sessions. No client is a text book case. Most commonly clients are up and down as they are going through therapy and when they are up that is normally a good indication of how they are going to feel once their therapy is complete. However tough your therapy feels while you are going through it don’t give up. It is so much worth it in the end. I am so glad I went through with mine as it has turned my life around and to think I could still be the same way I always was if I hadn’t have completed my therapy. I have to admit that there were times when I thought Why am I doing this? But I knew deep down that facing those demons was the best thing that I could do. And I know it is a brave thing to do. So to anyone going through therapy I do commend your bravery. Never give up.

Another reason people sometimes use to give up on therapy is the cost. It often suprises me the things that some people will prioritise in front of their own mental and emotional health.  If someone chooses not to have therapy but will spend that money on alcohol or even drugs, new clothes, a handbag or accessories It is usually a case of sticking to an old routine of trying to make themselves better by using these devices to ‘patch’  things up. That isn’t going to make the problem go away. It may make a person feel a little better for a short while and give them a boost but that will soon pass.

Another reason someone may give up on therapy is because of outside influences. Maybe there is someone that doesn’t want to see them getting better so is putting them off. This does happen on the odd occasion. Normally there is a hidden agenda there.

Even though therapy can sometimes be tough it is very positive and beneficial and is actually an exciting journey into self discovery. So if you start the journey don’t give up!!    We are all learning about ourselves all the time and that includes me! And if you want to start your journey contact me here at positivelycalm to start your hypnotherapy in Essex.

Take Control Of Your Life!

Do you ever feel out of control of your life? Your all powerful subconscious mind that runs in the background and over rides …

A Christmas Stress Buster!

  Even though tis the season to be jolly, for some people this puts on an added pressure to show an outward happiness …

Insomnia – Is it all in your head?

Worrying about not getting enough sleep could be the very thing that is causing your insomnia. Although sometimes there could …