Blog of a Hypnotherapist



A person holding their hands in the air in triumph on a beach with the sea and a sunset in the background with the word believe at the top.

If you are not expecting it, you are not allowing it to happen

Your belief system brings into your life what you want to happen. If your beliefs are strong enough then what you believe will probably happen. If you believe everything in your life is bad then it is likely that you are going to bring bad events into your life. If you are optimistic and believe that good things are going to happen then that is what you are going to attract into your life. Simple? Yes and no. Sometimes because of negative events that have happened in our past it does sometimes take some retraining of our minds. And also remember that our minds and emotions are connected. So, if we are going to desire good things into our lives then remember each emotion indicates how much energy you are summoning. Your predominant thoughts and beliefs that you currently hold are all relative to your desire.

We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. If you look back through your own life you may notice how often you have gone through the same experience.

If you are feeling a very strong emotion, wether positive or negative, that means that your desire is powerfully focused and you are summoning a great deal of energy towards your desire. So, when your emotions feel bad, like depression, fear or anger, that means that you are offering a lot of resistance to your true desire. When your emotions are strong and feel really good , like enthusiasm, passion, positivity, expectation or love, that means that you are not offering out any resistance to that which you desire so the energy that you have summoned through what you desire is not being challenged vibrationally by yourself and you are then currently allowing the things that you desire to come into your life.

So it seems to be an obvious rule that the perfect situation to create and allow into your life what you desire is to really, really want something that you believe is possible. When that combination of both desire and belief is present within you all those things will quickly unfold into your life.

BUT when you want something that you do not believe is possible, when you have that desire but you do not expect it, it will not easily unfold into your life. Hypnotherapy and EFT can be fantastic tools to eradicate negative thoughts and feelings and make your belief system so much more positive!

Believe and Expect and the universe will answer your call……………..

Twin Peaks is my therapy

Agent Dale Cooper (played by actor Kyle Mcklachlan) at the end of a long corridor of red curtains with a black and white zig zagged floor in the black lodge in twin peaks

Twin peaks is back after 25 years and in typical David Lynch style it continues to shock, confuse and amaze those who follow the series. It may have been over 25 years since the last episode was shown but it has never been far from my mind. In fact, it has taken that amount of time to process and understand much of what went on in the show all those years ago, watching the episodes many times along with the feature film ‘twin peaks: fire walk with me’. This is why I’ve decided to write about how Twin Peaks has been my therapy.

So, why do I consider this surreal show therapy? Television in itself is hypnosis. When we are glued to that box we are taken places within our own minds and imagination. There is, however, no other show that hypnotises quite like twin peaks. One of the reasons I have watched the shows so many times is because I found that it relaxes me and opens my mind creatively. I have had some of my best creative ideas watching twin peaks. From the surreal images to the haunting and relaxing music of Angelo Badalamenti I can be taken right into the depths of my subconscious mind where creativity springs from. It’s quite ironic that a television series about the brutal murder of a high school prom queen can also relax and soothe the mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some very uneasy scenes of violence, horror and also hints of sexual abuse but there are so many different layers to Lynch’s film making. Of course, it isn’t just David Lynch but also Mark Frosts input that has made this such an incredible show. Forget the complexity of it. Although I don’t think there is any other show that causes so much discussion and different ideas and this in itself can be a form of therapy as it enables us to focus and think ‘outside the box’ but alongside this complexity there is also such an innocent simplicity. Many of the characters have a real  innocence about them that we instantly feel a warmth and rapport and a sense of protection to their very being. Lynch/Frost use many of these characters to bring humour to the show and bring a light heartedness, that, without it would probably make the storyline too dark and foreboding. One of these innocent characters is Lucy Brennan who is the Sheriff Departments receptionist who has an on/off relationship with Deputy Andy. She has some classic one liners and, although innocent, is nobody’s fool. Her sidekick Andy is also another innocent and enchanting character and the pair of them together bring a light warmth to some of the shows darkest moments.

Many of the characters are mysterious and enchanting, like the log lady who, as her title suggests, has a log that seems to know and understand much about the events that are taking place. ‘One day soon, my log will have something to say about this’ she teases very near the beginning of season one. Sadly the actress Catherine Coulson, who played the log lady, passed away during the filming of series three but not without filming her last scenes. And after watching these scenes in the first two episodes of series three it seems she very likely filmed these scenes on her death bed where she died from complications of cancer. This, to me, shows the dedication and passion that she had to the show and to David Lynch’s work who she had worked with many times over the years. In fact the idea for the log lady first came together many many years before in 1977 on the set of Lynch’s first ever, albeit low budget,  film ‘Eraserhead’ in which Coulson performed various behind the scenes functions. During the filming of ‘Eraserhead, Lynch told Coulson that he had an image in his head of her holding a large log. Fifteen years later, he created such a role for her in Twin Peaks, on which she starred for 12 episodes through seasons 1 and 2.

Coulson went on to reprise her role in the film prequel, Twin Peaks: Fire walk with me, and in the 2017 revival. In the new series, her character (the Log Lady) appears in the first two episodes, where she passes on a message from her log for Deputy Hawk to resume the search for Agent Cooper.

There is a strong mystic element to the log lady where she almost seems to have a psychic connection to her log. Very much in the way a witch would have a familiar such as a toad or cat or a psychic would have a crystal ball as a tool or ‘prop’ to channel psychic abilities. In fact there are many spiritual aspects to twin peaks. The red room which resides inside the black lodge where agent Cooper meets Laura Palmer is almost like a plane between the earth plane and the other side. In fact, this where he gets messages from various ‘spirits’. Although it doesn’t seem you have to be necesarily dead to be in the red room. Obviously Cooper isn’t but seems to visit when in a ‘dream like state’ or sleeping (Hey, that’s hypnosis!) In a recent episode in a dramatically horrifying scene a young boy gets hit by a truck and killed and when an older character tries to comfort the grieving mother he sees the child’s spirit going up into the sky.

Lynch has also reported that during the filming of Erasurehead that is where Coulson started practicing meditation having observed Lynch himself practice the technique.

And that leads me towards why I find Twin Peaks such a therapy in itself. Meditation. Meditation is a form of self-hypnosis. Although we all naturally go into hypnosis from times to time. Maybe through day dreaming or focus (ie.watching television) or driving from A to B and suddenly arriving without any idea of how we got there, the art of meditation can bring us into  much deeper depths of our subconscious mind. It is not only relaxing because it slows our body down from the strains of our everyday modern life but it is also therapeutic in the way that it lets our conscious minds switch off. It occurred to me last week when I was watching the latest episode of Twin Peaks: the return how quickly the episodes seem to fly by. A fifty minute episode (I watch without the ad breaks) literally feels like under ten minutes. As a hypnotherapist in Essex I know that when a client has been hypnotised, or indeed from my own experience of hypnosis, there seems to be hardly any concept of time. Lynch and Frost definitely seem to be giving us such an intense focus along with relaxing themes and some symbolism that are putting us into a meditative dream like state.  Although I have experienced a similar phenomenon in the past with other programs it has never been to this degree. So, from the angst of my late teens where the escapism was such an intense form of escape from my problems of the time to the hypnotic and meditative relaxation of today Twin Peaks has definitely been like my own form of therapy along with the group therapy of sharing ideas and concepts about the show online with fellow peakies! Lynch and Frost you have been the most wonderful therapist. Therapy never ends and let’s hope the show goes on further too and if it doesn’t?  Well I’ll just have to keep watching the episodes that have been made because with every new viewing you find something that you haven’t seen before.

For more information on hypnosis or hypnotherapy in please visit


Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

A man climbing up the side of a rock with the words "never give up on youself"

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

Hello there everyone. I really hope that you are enjoying the summer! It’s so nice to get outside more often, have longer days and some nice healthy walks in the fresh air. I do apologise that I haven’t blogged for a few weeks but things here at Positivelycalm therapy have been busy busy busy!!

I’ve chosen to speak this week about the importance of sticking with therapy. One of the most disappointing aspects of any therapy practice is when a client quits therapy before it is complete. Although this doesn’t happen often there can be several reasons for this but the most common, especially when a client is going through analysis, is when a client is having difficulty coping with discharging negative feelings. Of course there are some problems that can be treated just with one or two sessions such as quit smoking but many symptoms require  full analysis. Every therapist would love to be able  wave a magic wand and make those negative feelings disappear straight away and if we could do it that quick I’m sure we would all be millionaires. The truth of the matter is that we do have to face up to these negative feelings before we can release them. To do this we have to relive or re-feel them in order for our subconscious and conscious adult minds to make sense of them to let them go. Therapy guides us to face up to those negative feelings buried in our subconscious but facing up to them and re living them as an adult is the most sure fire way of having an understanding of them and letting them go. During your therapy, over the weeks, there are moments when you can feel really good and this is an indication of how you shall feel once therapy had been completed. Not everyone’s therapy experience is the same and no one should be treated as a text book case as we are certainly all individuals. Some people start feeling better straightaway or after one or two sessions. Some people take longer and sometimes people are just very up and down throughout their therapy experience. These feelings are quite natural and all I can advise is not to give up and just ride the wave until the end. Therapy is very much a journey. It has its ups and downs but the destination is fantastic!

Another reason people may give up on therapy is that they just don’t believe that they are getting anywhere quick enough. They may have known someone who has had therapy and been better in two sessions yet they have had six sessions and are not yet anywhere near where they want to be feeling. Again we are all different. Our mind-sets and the way we all see things are different and our reactions to things are not all the same. Also some people’s problems are much more deep rooted than others. Any therapist would not be seeing you if they didn’t think that they would be able to help you and that is why I offer a free initial consultation so that I can ascertain wether I can be the best help for the particular problem  and the route of therapy to go down. If I don’t believe that I would be the best possible therapist for the particular problem then it is my duty to point you in the right direction and maybe towards a therapist who specialises in the particular area that you may need help. So, a therapist wouldn’t be seeing you if he/she didn’t think there could be an improvement. Some people just take longer than others. Some people take longer to subconsciously process things depending on how deep rooted the particular problem is and there are people that just need different therapy strategies and coping mechanism where there are some that alleviate their problem with one therapy which could also be alleviated in fewer sessions. SO DON’T GIVE UP!  Everyone deserves to feel good and not to carry around negativity. Don’t accept that’s just the way you are. We were not born negative. We can all change and we all deserve to change it’s just some people improve quicker than others. Please don’t give up because YOU ARE WORTH IT! 😉

Keeping on that positive vibe……..

Keeping on that positive vibe

Everyone has bad days from time to time. Although we all tend to want to be positive there are often over riding factors. We are all human after all and there is no such thing as a perfect life. For whatever reason challenges are often sent our way but it is how we choose to react to those challenges that determines our mindset. I’m often asked what we can do to keep our energy positive so here are a few ideas.

Express gratitude – When negative events or people have an effect on your life it is always important to remember all the good things that you do have to balance this out. Try at least once a week to reflect on what you are grateful for and why. You may want to write down all the positive things about your career, your love or family and friends that support you. Remember a really good or positive event from your life and concentrate on how that makes you feel.

Meditation – Sometimes we need to let go of over whelming thoughts and clear our minds of clutter. Deep breathing exercise and relaxing music can help with this. Also repeating positive affirmations can be a great help as this can help train your mind to believe the affirmation and guide you towards your positive goal. Click here to see my blog on meditation.

Challenge your negative thoughts – Whenever negative thoughts come into our minds we can choose how we respond to them. It’s easy for our minds to tend to dwell on negative events which can end up magnifying things far bigger than they really are. Try interpreting these things differently. For example your car won’t start in the morning. Instead of thinking ‘I’m rubbish, everything goes wrong for me’ try thinking ‘It’s good that this has happened now and I haven’t been left stranded on a motorway.’ Anyone that has had cognitive behavioural therapy will know that this involves keeping a thought and feelings diary. This helps to bring negativity into a real perspective and we are able to reframe these thoughts and feeling much more positively. This is all about re-training the mind and although it might not happen overnight this is something that with practice will start coming to you more naturally.

Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT is a really good tool for confronting our negative feelings until we can bring the feeling down and then re-framing positively. This is done by tapping on acupuncture points alongside affirmation like suggestion. For more about emotional freedom technique please click here.

Don’t Worry…… Be Happy!

Don’t worry…….Be happy!

A picture of a person jumping into the air in front of a sunrise with the words don't worry, be happy

A short blog this week but a VERY important one to remember……

How much time and energy do you waste worrying? How many times have you spent so much time worrying about something negative that you thought ‘might’ happen only for it not to happen anyway or for the outcome to have been much better than you expected? It’s these everyday worries that get in the way of you being happy and living life to the full. One of the most common regrets of somebody dying is that they wished that they hadn’t wasted so much time worrying.

Anyone who knows anything about the law of attraction could tell you that we draw to us whatever we are predominantly thinking so that your life will reflect those things. Whatever you are thinking about is very much like planning a future event. So, when you are appreciating things you are planning. When you are worrying then you are also planning. Remember worrying is using your imagination to create something that you don’t want. Instead how about using your imagination to create something you DO want.

Every thought and every idea that you have is vibrational so that when you focus your attention on something, even for a short time, the vibration of your being will begin to reflect the vibration of that which you are giving your attention to. That vibration will begin to increase until you change your thoughts to something else. Use those thoughts wisely.

Sometimes we have automatic thoughts that come from our subconscious, especially if you are suffering from anxiety or panic. If this is the case it’s always good to try and record these thoughts and make a conscious effort to re-frame them. You can do this using a thought diary. Look at those thoughts and see if they are really valid. When you look back on those thoughts I wonder if they were ever really as bad as you thought they were going to be in the first place? This is a process often used in cognitive behavioural therapy. Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique are also very good for helping you to turn those negative thoughts around.

Appreciate everything that you do have, wherever you are in your life. I know these words may seem a little strange if you are going through a bad patch and are at a place in your life where do not want to be but if you can understand the power of feeling good now , no matter what, you will hold the key to achieving any state of being that you desire. To think like this isn’t hard, it is easy but it does take practice. It’s a re-training of your mind. You don’t train a dog overnight but we know with some perserverance and patience it gets there in the end. It is the same for you. Don’t give up. The more you train your mind to think positively the easier it will become. Visualise how you want to be. Our imagination is such a powerful tool so use it positively. Remember to think about what you WANT to happen instead of what you DON’T WANT to happen.

If you need help along the way feel free to book a FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION. You can contact me here.




  If you are not expecting it, you are not allowing it to happen Your belief system brings into your life what you want …

Twin Peaks is my therapy

Twin peaks is back after 25 years and in typical David Lynch style it continues to shock, confuse and amaze those who follow …

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it!

Therapy is a journey – AND the rewards are SO worth it! Hello there everyone. I really hope that you are enjoying the summer! …