Month: <span>October 2016</span>

Motivation

Hello again everyone and welcome to my third blog. This week I have decided to talk about motivation.  Funnily enough I had to motivate myself to write this blog! At the end of the last blog you will remember me putting that I would write about motivation in the next blog. Well I am not sure where that came from. It just came into my mind, probably because, yes, it is an important part of a hypnotherapists work. When I really thought about it though I wondered how I could possibly condense that down into about a thousand words for a blog. After all there is so much to be said about motivation. Then I got a cold. It is very rare for me to not feel well. I became de-motivated! Sometimes though our bodies have ways of telling us that we have to slow down and I believe this is what happened. So, between clients, I recharged and re-motivated myself.

What is motivation?  Motivation is defined as the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviours. So, motivation can be self-orientated and it can also be used to motivate others. The Cambridge English dictionary describes the nouns of motivation as both enthusiasm and reason. For example ‘there seems to be a lack of motivation among the employees’, ‘that student lacks motivation’ (enthusiasm) or what was the motivation for the attack and’ the motivation behind the decision is the desire to improve the service to our customers’ (reason).

There are two ways motivation works in hypnotherapy. First I will talk about the definition of reason. This would be what I, as a hypnotherapist, would be looking for during  hypno-analysis.  Hypno-analysis is the process of hypnotising a client and guiding them back to their former years to find out any emotional baggage that their subconscious may be holding onto. By doing this we can find out what  colours the individuals thoughts and behaviours and makes that person act in a certain way. For example, if a client was seeing me for weight loss and we regressed to a time in childhood where that particular person had been told off for not eating all their meal then their protective subconscious may have held onto negative emotion related to this that then caused that individual to always finish a meal even if they felt full and to overeat. It would be a learnt thought process that eating everything was good. By releasing this as an adult the adult mind realises that actually this is not quite true and that person can move forward more healthily. Suggestion would also be used here to reinforce healthy eating and only eat as much as is needed.

So many things happen in our former years that can affect our motivation. If there is a lot of trauma this can lead to depression which has a huge effect on our motivation. Anyone that has suffered from depression realises that it can be hard to even motivate yourself out of bed in the morning. If somebody was constantly told that they were useless, that they would never amount to anything then they may become de-motivated. So there are reasons behind each of ours very ways of being. What motivates or de- motivates one person will not necessarily be the same as another. Once we clear what has de-motivated an individual we can move onto motivating them in the right direction which leads me onto the second definition of ‘enthusiasm’.  So where a hypnotherapist has used hypno-analysis to find the reason for demotivation he/she can then use suggestion therapy to motivate and enthuse the client. Some clients will get positive results just from some suggestion work. For example I have had marathon runners beat their best time by having some suggestion work to help with motivation. If a person is generally de-motivated in life though we would have to start looking at the core reason for this. A person may come to me for a quit-smoking session. This is a one off two hour session using psychotherapy in the first hour and then an hour of hypnosis using suggestion therapy to quit the habit. If anyone still smokes after this then I offer a free top up session. It is very rare that anyone needs to return for this. However if they do and then after that the habit is still there then it indicates a much deeper rooted reason for self-destruction that would have to be investigated with analysis should the client wish to go down that route.

Some of us are better at self-motivation than others and some of us are better at motivating others. That doesn’t always necessarily mean that they are as good at motivating themselves. All of this comes down to life experience.

So, have a think. What motivates you? Also, what de-motivates you? If we can face up to some of our demons that de-motivate then it makes it much easier to motivate ourselves. Willpower has a great effect on our motivation but what makes some people have stronger willpower than others? Again it’s very much down to life’s experiences. “All you need is will power” is part of the new years resolution language. Many hypnotherapists find that they get their busiest periods towards the end of January when people are breaking their new years resolutions by not being able to break a bad habit by willpower alone. Motivation hypnotherapy is a great strengthener to a clients will power.

Of course there are many other factors that can de-motivate us. Illness, for example. As I mentioned earlier I became de-motivated when I got a cold. Don’t beat yourself up if at times you are not as motivated as others. There is really only a problem if you are never motivated to do anything.

It’s not only hypnotherapy that can help with motivation but also EFT. Finding your blocks to success and then tapping away those blocks! Look at my EFT page for more information.

Alcohol or narcotics abuse will definitely demotivate you. Don’t fall into the trap that drugs will give you a buzz and energy. They can end up taking control of your life and motivation is about being in control.

Sometimes just having a goal is enough to motivate us. I know, personally, if I have a few extra pounds on and I have a holiday booked those few extra pounds are going to be gone by the time I get on that beach!!!

So think about what could motivate you towards your goal and if there is no goal there find one!

Everything happens for a reason

Hello again. I hope you all enjoyed reading the first part of my Hypnotherapy blog last week. Following on from that, I’d just like to talk a bit about things happening for a reason. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that we can learn so much from all of our experiences. Both the  good and bad.

So, the question that I left you with at the end of my last blog was “Did I ever look back and realise that my accident happened for a reason? Was I ever grateful for the experience?  In all honesty I can say that the answer is YES! It was so hard to see at the time and for maybe many years after but hindsight is a great thing. I will give you the reasons why. To start with I was not really doing a career that I was suited to. I went straight from school up to the city to work purely for financial reasons. Money was never a great driver for me but I needed to earn and I suppose I was kind of steered in this direction by my  family. I worked in the financial markets and Maths has never been my Forte!! In fact I have quite an aversion to anything to do with numbers!  But I did enjoy the social side of the job and I liked the excitement of being in the city. I had many laughs there and met some great people. I think, though, I always knew in the back of my mind that I wasn’t doing what I should be doing. I also didn’t know what it was that I should be doing so I just ploughed through and got on with the job. This was causing me some stress though. Much of the time I knew my colleagues were finding it more naturally easy to do the job than I was. Because of that though I was working harder and I believe I did have a good reputation at work. So even though I was a bit like a fish out of water I got on with the job to the best of my ability. Its only now that I look back that I feel that if I hadn’t have had my accident I probably would have just muddled through and stayed in the security of the job. I probably would have aged a lot quicker as the job was very stressful. Many of my colleagues have had to come away from that work now.  As I now know through my work as a hypnotherapist stress causes disease. If I had stayed in a job that I felt uncomfortable in (not at ease or at Dis-ease) I could have very well made myself ill. Stress can lead to illness including cancer and have all sorts of other negative effects on the body.

If I had not had my accident I probably wouldn’t have had a career change so I wouldn’t have been led into my work as a hypnotherapist. It wasn’t til years later that I realised that I had used hypnosis naturally in my recovery and that I had also used hypnosis as I child to help me through childhood trauma without even realising it. I shall talk about that further in a later blog.

As a result of my accident I also suffered PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and I believe that I now do some very good work using hypnotherapy and EFT (tapping) with clients suffering from PTSD. This is something that I wouldn’t have insight into or any empathy with without that experience. I also suffer a very mild tourettes symptom as a result of my head injury and although I have coping mechanisms to deal with this (most wouldn’t even realise that I suffer) it has also given me great insight into tics and how to help others.

Another important lesson that my accident taught me was to be grateful for everything that I do have. I haven’t taken life far-granted ever since and I know that I did before. I am grateful for everyday that I wake up healthy and able to function normally. I thank the universe for everything that I have. I am so grateful for every one of my lifes experiences and where they have brought me today. I do some work in motivation with groups and also some tutoring in employability. Many of these people just have a lack of confidence due to experiences in their youth, either at home or at school. Being told they are stupid or put down in other ways. I don’t believe that any one of us is stupid. We just all use different parts of our minds. As I mentioned earlier I am not very good with figures but I do know that I have emotional intelligence. This is something that I can use in my practice and in my tutoring. I teach that we all have skills and do some exercises to help learners to find out where their skills lie so they can then find out in what area to develop. This alone helps with their confidence.

So, in summary, I am grateful for my accident and all of my life experiences which have led me to where I am today. Anyway that’s enough blogging about me for now. In my next blog next week I will talk about Motivation.

Have a fantastic week ahead everyone and remember, whatever challenges life throws at you, there will be a reason for it. ;-).

 

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. I am really looking forward to sharing my experiences with you from both my personal life and from my work of the last fourteen years as a therapist. (hypnotherapy and hypnotherapist). When you read the section about me it tells you how I was led to my work as a therapist by panic/anxiety attacks that I experienced myself. Much of this came from my own challenging childhood but also I would like to share with you today about an event that happened when I was 19 that also contributed to negativity in my subconscious.

When I was 19 years old I was the victim of a serious hit and run accident. I was knocked down on a zebra crossing at between 60 and 70 mph (this was in a 30mph limit zone). I was thrown 130 ft up the road (landing outside a butchers, not a choice of landing for a long term vegetarian ;-)). To this day I have no memory of this accident or two weeks prior to, and, as I was unconscious, two weeks after. It was touch and go and my poor family were advised I may not survive and if I did that I may never walk again and could be seriously brain damaged. I had a serious head injury, a shattered femur and a bad back injury. “Poor you” I hear you cry! And poor me is how I felt…… For a while.

There’s nothing worse than lying in hospital feeling sorry for yourself though. After regaining consciousness I obviously felt very low. Questioning myself. “Why me?” “What have a done to deserve this?” Being in hospital, however, gives you plenty of time to think. Even though too much thinking can be a bad thing I really had to question why this had happened. I have always been quite spiritual in my thinking and believe that everything that happens, happens for a reason. So where I began almost punishing myself by thinking that I must have done something bad for this to happen I actually started thinking maybe there was some other reason for this happening. After all I had always done my best to be a good person and to look after other people around me. I honestly couldn’t think of anything that I had done bad enough to warrant this. I then started reframing the situation in my mind. I think you can only go so low before you can take no more negativity and with all that time to think I realised that it was on my OWN thoughts making me feel like this. If I was to get through this, walk again, be coherent in mind again, I had to change my way of thinking.

Sitting in that hospital bed day after day, week after week really made me realise how powerful thoughts were and how they could make or break. If I carried on thinking the way I was I would prove the doctors right. I wouldn’t walk again and maybe I wouldn’t have my full mental capacity back. I wasn’t prepared to do that. I had to change my thoughts. Something inside my mind told me to think of this as a challenge and a lesson for my own good. It has happened for a reason but a good one. Not a punishment. Who knows where this came from? Was it some higher force? Was it something I had previously read being triggered? Something said to me that one day I would look back and be able to see the reason for this and actually be grateful for it happening. Although this was quite hard to believe it did give me some hope. I began raising to the challenge and a couple of days later the physio came round to get me on my feet. This wasn’t easy. I couldn’t be fully weight bearing but he managed to get me up into a sitting position and onto my feet with some support. The pain was so bad I blacked out. The positive thing was though that that was pain. It would have been far worse had there been no feeling at all. Rising to this challenge and thinking positively definitely got me moving again. Within six weeks I was out of hospital and back at home on crutches. Recovery took me years, both mentally and physically. Did I ever look back and realise that this happened for a reason? Was I ever grateful that it had happened? When I publish the next part of my blog you will find out! 😉

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